Demons of the past
by igore
Summary: AU S7 Sequel to the shell without humanity So you might want to read that first. It's my first sequel so be very harsh and unforgiving in your reviews
1. The dark and the deep

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
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Five months.   
  
It had been almost five months since she left Sunnydale. It seemed like years. Course coming from the hellmouth made the outside world look like it was in slow motion.   
  
Things happened so fast there, a different evil to fight every week, different relationships every once in awhile. She guessed it was because there was always a possibility that that week, month or day could be your last, so life got supercharged.   
  
It was no different once their latest crisis was averted. The week after had been exhausting, everyone sat down a few moments when they got home and did nothing. Silence had filled the room and no one dared break it.   
  
Giles was the first to ask what had happened. Xander had interrupted her five times during the explanation. Questioning, disbelieving or outright accusing, he just couldn't see the gray. It always saddened her when she thought about it. He could never accept the in-between, the fact that a demon could love or that a friend could kill.   
  
He was their strongest member but yet he could not step out of the denial that surrounded him. His friend who killed someone and almost killed them all is good. His ex who is a demon who saved their lives and helped out is bad.   
  
After a very trying hour of explanations she sat their drained of any voice. That was when they heard the scream. At first they automatically looked at Dawn, cause she had the record for screams in the group. But she had already bolted for the upstairs bedroom.   
  
They hadn't noticed that Buffy had gone. After the fight the slayer had held onto Dawn as if she would disappear if she let go. But Willow could tell there was something else on Buffy's mind other than her sister's near death experience. After much pounding they finally opened the door to find a weeping slayer on the bed. Clutching a letter in one hand and what looked to be a marble in the other.   
  
Willow immediately felt the magic surrounding the sobbing form on the bed. But it was different from everything she had felt. It felt immense and bright. After Giles gently and cautiously pried the marble out of her hand, they went back down stairs leaving Dawn with the whimpering Buffy.   
  
It wasn't until the next morning when the frazzled, puffy eyed slayer came downstairs with Dawn in tow. It looked as though she was barely keeping it together and all it took was a sarcastic comment from Xander to send her off sobbing back into her room. He promptly kept his opinions to himself for the rest of the week after the tag team scolding he got from Dawn and Giles.   
  
Dawn explained what had happened, the letter, the marble, everything. She told them about the messages left to them, though she didn't specify what he had said, but they could tell that something in the letter had made her cry to. It was later on that day when Buffy came down that they finally understood why.   
  
The reactions from the letter ranged from absolutely beaming to silent tears, Anya and Willow being on opposite ends of the spectrum. Things had settled a bit after that. Well as much as it could, being on the hellmouth and all.   
  
It was at the end of the week when Giles and Willow announced their departure for England within the week. Him to report back to the watchers council and her to study with the coven in Bath.   
  
No matter how much she tried, the witch couldn't stop feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, always afraid that she would lose control again. So after asking Giles if she could come along she told the rest of the group. Xander had been the first to voice his opinion, for the first time in a week.  
  
God how they so loved the silence sometimes. After some fighting, some tears and some hugs, they parted ways a couple days later. The next few months were almost agonizing.   
  
She had to start off from square one. Doing things she could easily do. Floating a pencil, lighting candles with her mind. It became tedious incredibly fast. But one thing she found was the focus she lacked at the beginning. When she first started out everything was chance, do this and see what happens. But there she researched the spell, thought through the process, looked at the dangers versus the pay off, and finally how it affected things around them.   
  
All these things brought focus to her, she could do a spell knowing exactly what was going to happen.   
  
It slowed the spell making and dishing, but it made her feel in control of herself, made her comfortable with her own skin.   
  
The coven she lived with was wonderful. There were a total of twelve men and women working there. Her teacher was named Gwen Mathraila, the highest ranking witch there, she was the one Willow worked directly with, though they all participated in the group meditation.   
  
When she wasn't in study or meditating she helped out with the garden in the courtyard or went into town to get supplies. It was a simple lifestyle and she enjoyed it immensely.   
  
She called her friends once a week and had visits from Giles. Everything was looking up. It shocked her when she realized that for the first time in a long time she looked forward to each day. It had seemed impossible at certain points.   
  
She still sometimes had nightmares.   
  
Mostly of losing Tara, or killing Warren. But sometimes, just sometimes, she would dream of the deep and the dark. Slowly eating away at her until she was hollow.   
  
Lately though it had changed, at the end she felt like there was more, something else, like the story hadn't ended. Those nights she woke up screaming and would usually have to be calmed down by one of the coven working late or on what she called "Willow watch".   
  
Recently though things shifted, changed, something was different, something she couldn't put her finger on. It felt like something was moving, stirring underneath the surface. She voiced her concerns to her teacher and it troubled Gwen greatly, but they couldn't offer any answer.   
  
Willow realized she had stood in the same spot for over five minutes going over what had happened in the past. She walked awkwardly, stiff and her foot asleep, towards the meditation room for the evening, you guessed it, meditation.   
  
When she got in the room the rest of the coven were already in place. It was a strict rule that silence must be maintained to keep the energy around them smooth, and calm. Everyone in place they joined hands and focused on the candles in the circle they had formed. All any of them could see was each others faces.   
  
Willow closed her eyes and concentrated on the energy in the room. She could feel it slowly start to move smoothly like silk over the skin. As it became more and more fluid she could feel something off. Suddenly someone screamed and everything crashed.   
  
Willow opened her eyes to find two of the coven members kneeling next to a third who was sobbing curled into a fetal position on the floor. She could faintly hear what the crying witch was whimpering.   
  
"It's coming, it's coming, they will unleash it and it will devoir us all,"  
  
"It's coming"   
  
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A/N: HA First chapter of the sequel. I know you're asking yourself, what possible nonesense can this guy come up with for a sequel to a semi good story.  
  
Grade A quality crap. So unless you review to tell me I'm wrong, then that's what I'll believe.  
  
NOw just to warn you people who have been bored enough to read this story, I make no promises on completing this sequel, my creative juices are adequate but could run dry at any moment.   
  
Lets see if I can get past the first three chapters, then we'll talk long term. I also warn that I am a procrastinator, I will put this thing off if I'm not motivated.  
  
And now for the shameless promotion segment of my A/N, please, visit my profile, read my stories, they get lonely.  
  
Also read my favorite stories and stories from my favorite authors, if you actually like my stuff, you'll love theirs, course I must warn you, all of my favorite stories are Spike oriented.   
  
SO THERE WILL BE NO VARIETY!  
  
So comes the end of this long winded Authors note, please review. I beg, I plead, I do sexual favors. 


	2. Blue turns to black

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
///She could feel his body against hers.   
  
He was inside her, on top of her, all around her, his arms tight bands while fingers gently caress her skin.   
  
They move together, writhing.   
  
Light moving through the blinds shedding light on them, but never revealing his face.   
  
All she could see was his pale blue eyes, being revealed then shadowed only to be revealed again. She just stared at them as those blue eyes were masked by the shadows to be reveal again.   
  
Only this time they were not blue...  
  
they were pitch black. ///  
  
Buffy woke up with a start.   
  
Breathing hard she looked around the room as if to find the cause of the dream. Finding none she flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.   
  
It had been the same dream for three days. Each time she went to sleep she dreamt of blue eyes turning black and each time she startled awake breathing deeply and slightly aroused, unable to sleep for the rest of the night. They didn't feel like one of her slayer dreams, but she couldn't know.   
  
Laying there staring at the ceiling her mind began to wander, listing through the changes in her life recently. Things had certainly changed. It seemed the marble she cherished and loathed at the same time set things off.   
  
After Willow left Xander became isolated. Buffy at the time wasn't exactly the most stable person around, Dawn was taking care of her and Anya wasn't speaking with him.   
  
It had taken a month for her to think of the vampire and not cry. The month of tears her sister referred to it as. Because of her fragile state, anything Xander said that had to do with Spike or even mentioned his name caused her to well up with fresh tears, because of that everyone had been banned from mentioning Spike until Buffy could handle it.   
  
Dawn had protected her sister fiercely from anyone who might destroy the progress her sister had made.   
  
Buffy smiled while she remembered how the younger of the summers women took care of the slayer. After a huge scolding by Dawn everyone refrained from saying his name or mentioning him.   
  
Course it was Dawn who slipped up first.   
  
They had been laughing in the kitchen one night, something about soap operas and Dawn started to say his name but she abruptly stopped and so did any noise in the room. Buffy just quietly whispered that Spike did love soap operas.   
  
No tears came, just a mix of sadness, fondness and a bit of humor.   
  
Things seemed to brighten after that. Her friends weren't walking on the eggshells around the vamp issue. They talked freely about what happened. She even got into a fight with Xander over him. They of course made up after that saying they were sorry for the things they said.   
  
She still cries sometimes in the night, when no one is awake. Cries for what she lost, what she could have had, and what she missed.   
  
Surprisingly, Anya had been the one she could really talk about Spike with. She had an amazing knowledge of vampires, demons, and relationships. She misses Willow though, the girl talks they had together, course she had been missing the talks long before the witch left.   
  
The vengeance demon and the carpenter were on civil terms again. They both loved each other, but the hurt was a big obstacle that they both had to cross. But they were well on their way to reconciliation. All of them were even comfortable enough to have their Scooby meetings at the bustling Magic box.   
  
Anya had been gracious enough to hire Buffy on as a second hand. Though she threatened to quite at any sign of a mummy hand, or repeating hours. Buffy also got a job at the new high school as a counselor. Which to her was weird since she absolutely no experience, but the new principle, who happened to be a major hottie, thought she had potential, and she wasn't about to turn down more money.   
  
Dawn had freaked out about it at first, but soon warmed up to the idea.   
  
Things were looking up, She was getting money in to the point they weren't destitute and the social workers weren't breathing down her neck. Both sisters were patrolling and training regularly, though Buffy had a specific rule "the grades drop so does the stake", but so far no problems.   
  
Willow called once a week, sometimes Buffy, sometimes Xander, but from what both of them could tell was that she was feeling better and was happy. Which was all they could ask for, no matter how much Xander grumbled about how her friends would be better able to help her.   
  
She didn't get as many calls as she liked from Giles, but from what she could tell he was preoccupied with the council, apparently arguing with those "pillocks". Buffy smiled and turned into her pillow, her heart had calmed down and it seemed she might actually get some sleep.   
  
Closing her eyes she relaxed and started to drift.   
  
But slowly something welled up in her, like knot in her insides, and for some reason he eyes decided to look at her digital clock, it read exactly 1:48, it struck a cord with her, she remembered it from somewhere. One forty-eight, that meant something, she wondered if the day had anything to do with it. Suddenly the knot tightened and she realized,   
  
a hundred and forty-eight days,   
  
that's how long he had been gone, except this time today would count. The knot that had formed in her insides released as she fell asleep with a single tear sliding down her cheek.  
  
Little did she know that today wouldn't count.  
  
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A/N: I know that this chapter is a little shorter than what I usually dish out, but the next one will be longer than usual so it evens out.  
  
I'm hoping none of the people bored enough to read my stuff have hurt themselves from falling asleep on their keyboards.  
  
I also hope that each one of you who read my stories review them telling me what you liked and disliked.  
  
I definitely did not have enough coffee today. 


	3. Lightning and fire

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Willow was running down the hall.   
  
Something big was happening, she had gotten called a few minutes ago, and it's been the first time in three days that she's heard from Gwen. Something was going on and no one was saying anythin.   
  
It had been three days since Mai's vision in the meditation room. The high level witches whisked her to a private wing in the house.   
  
Since then things have become a bit odd. Almost all lessons and meditations were cancelled, the need for supplies has increased, and she hasn't seen Gwen or any of the other high ranking witches in two days, even more disturbing was the arrival of strangers that came in and weren't seen again. That wasn't the alarming part, there are three wings in the whole building, one housed Mai, that whole wing has been locked and blacked out.   
  
Coming to a stop at Gwen's office door she lightly knocked.   
  
"Come in Willow"   
  
Opening the door Willow was shocked to see the disarray of the once neat and clean office. It was simple, for walls, desk in the middle with two guest seats in front and warmly lit. In the back wall a large rack stood, usually it held a impressive collection of ancient scrolls. Half of which were now strewn across the desk.   
  
Gwen was standing examining one of them. Closing the door Willow walked forward. Gwen looked up and smiled a smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes. Upon a closer look Willow could tell that the powerful witch had been staying up late, not getting enough sleep.   
  
Motioning for her to sit, Gwen moved around the desk and sat down in the guest chair opposite to her. The redheads eyes darted around looking at the mess around her, she was startled when Gwen broke the silence.   
  
"Willow how long have you been here with us?"   
  
Thinking quickly she spoke.   
  
"Um about five months I think maybe."   
  
The woman smiled and nodded.   
  
"Five months, seems longer doesn't it?"   
  
Smiling Willow nodded.   
  
"You still feel you need to stay longer?"   
  
Willows smile faded, looking down she nodded slowly. Gwen smiled as she stood and began walking back behind her desk.   
  
"Unfortunately you can't stay here any longer."   
  
Willows head shot up and looked at the witches sad face in shock.   
  
"But wait, what'd I do, did I do something wrong, I..."   
  
Gwen interrupted the nervous rambling.   
  
"Remember what Mai said?"   
  
Willow still wasn't thinking calmly and shot up in her seat to plead her case.   
  
"I didn't do that, I mean I don't think I did, I won't do it again I swear just don't..." *don't throw me away*.   
  
Tears began to fill up her eyes and fall down her cheeks. Gwen slammed her palm on the desk.   
  
"Willow!"   
  
This shocked the redhead out of her stupor and teary eyed she stared at the serious face in front of her.   
  
"She said it was coming, that they would unleash it and it would devour us all. If there was anywhere someone would want to unleash an evil where do you think they would do it?"   
  
Realization dawned on her, they weren't throwing her out, they were sending her home to help her friends. But something told her there was more. Something in the other witches eyes that said there was more, and things weren't looking good.   
  
"You know what's coming."   
  
It was a statement that made the other witch look away. Sighing she spoke.   
  
"Yes."   
  
Standing still for a moment she continued.   
  
"Existence as we know it is like a chess game, between many players all trying to defeat the other. Like in a chess game there are foreseeable moves that can be predicted and planned upon. One of the players is an evil older than time, one with many powerful followers but has no name. It has been a major player in the game, existing between hell an earth, until it saw an opportunity and decided it wanted to make its grand move. Unable to take physical form it began to gather it's followers for the attack."   
  
She sat down with another sigh, as did Willow.   
  
" The powers foresaw this move and began to put the pieces into place for a defense that they knew would win against it."   
  
Willow mulled this around a bit.   
  
"Us."   
  
This caused the grim look on Gwens face to deepen a little.   
  
"Yes, each one of you represented a piece in the defense, everyone was in the process of being put into place, until something happened. One of the pieces was removed from the board. Without him you would have failed and the game would be lost."   
  
Willows eyes widened as she whispered the name that haunted her.   
  
"Spike."   
  
The grim expression stayed on Gwen's face as she nodded.   
  
"Unlike chess, there are sudden unexpected changes caused by the pieces themselves in this game. You sending Spike to a hell dimension was one of them. The plan had to be re-planned. Fortunately he did something no one expected or thought possible, he banished the evil from earth forever. It seemed that whatever advantage this evil had, was now lost."   
  
Gwen let out a soft, sad laugh.   
  
"All for love."   
  
Willows head bent downward as a watery smile sprung up on her face. She looked up again as Gwen went on.   
  
"Obviously the next move was for the followers to try and find a way to unleash it. We knew all this before you came to us. We were confident there was no spell that could bring it back, William the Bloody had done his work well. But things have shifted, somehow the followers have found a way, and are beginning to gather again. They must wait until the one year anniversary of the banishment to summon it, and they intend to be ready."   
  
Willow could feel the guilt began to gather in her gut. She had caused this, and now her friends lives were at stake again. If the other witch saw Willows distress she gave no hint of it.   
  
"Their leader is powerful, more powerful than we expected, and seeing the state you all are in, it doesn't look good."   
  
Willow had been silent all through this, the guilt and shock were coursing through her as she spoke.   
  
"What do we do?"   
  
Gwen then sat forward and looked right into Willows eyes.   
  
"The powers have warned us with the vision they sent to Mai, and the means to fight the it's followers, this first evil must not be allowed to re-enter this world. And there is only one who has been successful in banishing it. Thus we must call on him."   
  
If Willow could have popped her eyes out of their sockets she would have.   
  
"B...But he's...I mean...he died, He can't be."   
  
Willows eyes caught Gwens and she could see that the other witch knew. Spike was still alive.   
  
"He's still..."   
  
Gwen nodded slowly.   
  
"The demon endured in the dimension he was sent to. We have the spell to summon him, the time is right, all we need is one final factor."   
  
She paused to make sure Willow was paying complete attention.   
  
"The person that sent him there."   
  
Willows face almost collapsed into tears.   
  
For a five minutes they sat there in silence. If Willows emotions were a storm everyone in a seven mile radius would have to take cover. Part of her wanted to break down. Run away and let the world fall apart. Another much larger was asking a million questions a minute. A tiny piece wondered whether or not she could do this. The rest of her told that tiny piece to shut the hell up. She had to do this. With tears still in her eyes, the famous resolve face shut like an iron curtain.   
  
"What do I do?"   
  
Gwens face brightened with the widest smile Willow had seen her wear. Getting out of her seat she went to the door and opened it.   
  
"Follow me."   
  
Without a word Willow got up and followed her down the hall that lead to the third wing. The place was dimly lit with only candlelight leading the way. They stopped in front of a door in the resident bedroom hall. The older witch took out a key that had been in her dress pocket and unlocked the door. Willow gasped when she walked inside.   
  
The room was almost pitch black except for a few candles that lit the room. The room itself was just four walls, a roof and a floor. A circular design had been painted in what she could tell was blood, around it was placed different herbs and magical ingredients. There were already five other Witches in the room setting up, a few she knew and a few she didn't but had seen arrive.   
  
Once they had seen her enter the room everyone took their place and sat in a circle surrounding the one on the floor. Willow followed suit with Gwen next to her. The five other people there began to chant in low voices while Gwen began to speak and ancient language that sounded Sumarian.   
  
Slowly Gwen picked up a knife and cut Willows hand while speaking the ancient language.. She then stabbed the bloodied blade into the painted design. The instant the blade touched the blood on the floor a wind began to blow in the room. The chanting grew and soon Lightning and Fire appeared in the middle of the circle.   
  
Willow held her breath and her hand as the fire and lightning cleared revealing a form clad in black.  
  
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A/N: AHA! I found a way to bring Spike back. I know your frightened, I know your saying "You frighten me with your cheesy writing, please stop." NO WAY BABY!   
  
This is the third chapter, which means that if I can write another after this, there is a good chance of finishing, but once again I make no promises. 


	4. letting myself love

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Buffy had gotten up out of bed an hour ago, she should have been at the school counseling troubled teenagers an hour ago, but with the night she just had, realizing what kind of an anniversary that today was, she called in sick. Dawn didn't buy the sick excuse and had given her the *I know your lying and that you aren't going to tell me the real reason* look. To which the slayer countered with an eye roll. And with that Dawn rushed off to school leaving the troubled sister with her thoughts.   
  
She didn't like how she felt, like she was numb, like when she first resurrected. She was the slayer, she was supposed to be strong, so what if her last boyfriend was sent to a hell dimension. It made Buffy chuckled when she thought about the absurdity of it all.   
  
*Yeah I slay demons, currently recovering from a failed relationship with a vampire who actually saved their lives from a hell dimension and feeling like how I felt when I was resurrected from the grave.*   
  
Yep normal.   
  
It made more sense when she thought she was in the mental institution. Sighing she rinsed out the coffee cup she had been drinking from and stopped cold when she saw what was on the mug.   
  
Kiss the librarian.   
  
God when would this end, everything reminded her of him. Was she a masochist or something? Why did she do this to herself? The vampire was dead, gone, never to return and that was final. Why did she feel like he could walk through that door at anytime? Why did she still keep his duster thinking he might still want it? He wasn't coming back, Nothing could ever bring him...her internal rant was interrupted by the shrill ringing of the phone. Wiping down the mug she put it into the cupboard and picked up the phone.   
  
"Hello"   
  
There was a slight pause before the person on the other line spoke   
  
"Buffy?"  
  
In an instant her day was looking up.   
  
"Giles!"   
  
The response she got was a little less than satisfying.   
  
"What on earth are you doing home?"   
  
Her mood darkened a bit.   
  
"Well hello to you to."   
  
"Oh right, sorry, just wasn't expecting you to be home."   
  
Easing up a bit she replied.   
  
"It's okay, just had a really bad night and decided to call in sick."   
  
"Nightmares?"   
  
He remembered the first few days after, she was having horrible nightmares, but it was his understanding that they had almost completely stopped. She knew what he was talking about also.   
  
"Nah just some really weird dreams...and why are you calling here if you know I won't be here?"   
  
He was caught, he often called Dawn at least once every two weeks to check up on how Buffy and everyone was doing. He had learned from last year, things had fallen apart and he didn't even know until after Willow killed someone, the watcher wasn't about to let things get that out of hand again.   
  
"Well, um, I was hoping to catch Dawn before she had to go to school."   
  
It clicked in Buffy's head.   
  
"Giles are you checking up on me?"   
  
"Well um, not specifically on you, just..."   
  
"No I think it's sweet in a way, going behind my back, making my sister responsible for the well being of everyone."   
  
Sighing Giles knew there was no out for this.   
  
"Well you haven't been the most reliable source, you tend to bottle things up, Dawn on the other hand is blunt as ever. And don't act like its such a betrayal. Do you realize how much money has been spent on the phone bill because of what boy said to what girl who actually has a crush on the football captain?"   
  
Buffy chuckled at that, and she knew he was right, she wasn't the most communicative person in the world. When did it become hard for her to even talk to Giles.   
  
"You're right Giles, from now on I'm miss communicative girl."   
  
"Alright then lets start with what's really bothering you?"   
  
Buffy froze, she should have known saying that would get her in trouble.   
  
"Well...um..."   
  
"Buffy you know that I can take anything you throw at me."   
  
Sighing she began.   
  
"Do you know how long I was gone."   
  
They still couldn't say the word 'dead', not even when she was alive. Feeling a bit startled he replied.   
  
"I'm not quite sure, I wasn't always in the best of mind at the time." Meaning he was extremely drunk at some points.   
  
"A hundred and forty seven days, forty eight the day I was brought back."   
  
This was hitting a sore spot with him but the watcher kept composure.   
  
"That sounds about right. How did you find out?"   
  
"Spike told me. I asked him and he told me without even thinking."   
  
Giles felt a twinge of respect for the long dead vampire.   
  
"Yes well, I'm not surprised."   
  
"Do you know how longs it's been since he died?"   
  
Giles finally understood.   
  
"A hundred and forty eight days."   
  
Buffy closed her eyes when she felt the all to familiar prickle at the back of her eyes.   
  
"He died Giles, he died without knowing how much I cared for him, he died thinking that everyone he ever loved hated him."   
  
Her voice was beginning to tremble and she took a moment to get herself under control. He debated it over with himself before approaching the subject.   
  
"Did you love him."   
  
She had calmed down a bit, but still had the lump in her stomach.   
  
"No, but I was so close, and I think I could have if I let myself."   
  
"Buffy I can never really understand what you went through last year, I should have been there, but I wasn't, and from what I know of the Spike we knew he wouldn't want this from you. He would have wanted you to move on with your life and believe that his love for you was real. It took me a long time but I do believe he loved you. And I wouldn't think any less of you if you loved him back."   
  
Feeling drained and slightly better she sighed into the phone.   
  
"Thanks Giles."   
  
The smile she wore was mirrored on the other end.   
  
"Alright now tell me about your dreams."   
  
She barked out a laugh at this.  
  
"Oh nothing, just some weird dreams."   
  
"Buffy..."   
  
"Really Giles, they were just weird dreams, and I really don't think I have anymore strength for 'examine Buffy's emotion issues'."   
  
Giles knew that he wasn't going to get anymore out of her and relented.   
  
"Alright I think that's enough for now, but promise me if anything odd happens you'll tell me."   
  
"I promise."   
  
"Alright, well tell Dawn I said hello and give everyone my best."   
  
"Okay, tell Travers I still think he's a stinky old man."   
  
A chuckle sounded on the other end.   
  
"Will do"   
  
"Love you Giles"   
  
there was a slight pause.   
  
"Love you to Buffy."   
  
Putting the phone back on the receiver she looked out the backyard at the sunny day thinking about how the future might pan out for her.   
  
She still kept the duster.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: HA! You were hoping that the chapter ending before this wasn't a cliffhanger, well sorry to crush your hopes. :)  
  
Another chapter, looks like this one is a keeper. I'm doing pretty well with the one chapter a day, but I don't think I'll be able to keep that pace up for much longer.  
  
ANd I'm kinda pissed, I got one review on THREE CHAPTERS! people people PEOPLE! Without your motivation writing this will seem like a waste of time, which it is, but make me feel good about it.  
  
SO GET REVIEWING'! 


	5. One word many voices

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Willow had been standing outside that door for what seemed like an hour. Her heart was pounding and the knot in her insides had not released. This certainly was a unique situation. How long had she wished this, to be able to talk to the vampire, to face the demon that had been haunting her for months.   
  
When is a murderer, who has truly repented, ever able to face their victim. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.   
  
So why was she still on the outside?   
  
Probably because their forgiveness is a whole more terrifying than their hate.   
  
*Why should I ask forgiveness from a vampire, a vampire who's killed hundreds of thousands of people.*   
  
*Because he saved your life, he saved the lives of your friends, for no reason at all, the only reason he stayed was because of a promise to the woman he loved, and that promise didn't even extend to you.*   
  
The voice in her head that had stayed silent during her internal rant suddenly whispered,   
  
*because if a soulless demon who has been in hell, for god knows how long, because of you, can forgive you, then it's possible your friends have too.*   
  
The realization slammed into her gut like a fist. The reason she came here in the first place, the reason she didn't feel comfortable in her own skin. She never really believed they had forgiven her. Looked past it yes, but she could always feel their eyes on her, watching and waiting for her blow. But what were the chances that Spike would forgive her.   
  
The voice whispered again.   
  
*When has he ever done what you expected?*   
  
The words rung true, he never did what they expected, hell he still didn't react the way she thought he would. When the summoning was complete he had just stood there, not doing anything, and very slowly he turned to look at each of them. His clothes hid the state of his body, and a hood obscured his face. When she felt his eyes land on her he froze again. She knew in that instant he recognized her, but could feel no fear coming off him. And without a sound he turned, walked into the corner and sat with his back against it.   
  
Gwen and the others took the hint that eluded Willow, cleaned up like he wasn't there, and left, leaving a candle to keep the room mildly lit. Willow desperate for answers got none. And finally after what seemed like hours she opened the door and stepped into the dark.   
  
The light flickering from the half done candle in the middle of the room didn't reach the corner where he had sat down. And from Willows senses she could tell he hadn't moved at all. In fact he just sat there, completely still. He was sitting in the corner but she could sense him all around her. She got the distinct feeling that he could sense everyone in the house.   
  
She didn't know why but she was being as quiet as possible. After closing the door she slowly stepped towards him, wringing her hands. She didn't see him react, but she could feel that he sensed the nervous energy around her. She couldn't shake off the feeling that even if she was intent on killing him, she wouldn't be able to even blink before he made a fatal blow.   
  
Deciding to be brave she picked up the candle and brought it over to illuminate his body. He didn't even twitch. From what she could tell he was a lump of rags, the only thing discernible was the hood that covered his head and his tightly wrapped forearms that ended at the hands leaving his fingers exposed. The only skin showing was stark white, his fingers looked arthritic from much use, and his fingernails were long and jagged. They hung limply as a part of his casual posture.  
  
She put the candle down and sat two feet away from him. Leaning her shoulder against the wall. It was then she noticed it was warm, which was odd because it was pure concrete from what she could tell. They sat there facing each other for a few minutes in silence. What could they say? He was the one who spoke first.   
  
"You've changed."   
  
*His voice, oh god...*   
  
The accent had faded and only a hint of it was detectable. His voice wasn't deep, but dark, it can only be described as a dozen other voices whispering the words he spoke, coming together as one to make his voice. It had a casual tone to it, though it held a seriousness to it. His voice stunned Willow into stillness. Shaking off the spine shiver each time he spoke she replied in a trembling.   
  
"Well, yeah, what with, the lack of black and evil magic, and all."  
  
She tried to sound casual but couldn't pull it off. His laugh was as disturbing as his voice. As his laugh faded she could almost feel the wheels turning in his head.   
  
"It worked then."   
  
It was a statement, and she could hear the sad happiness in the many dark voices in his own. Usually this would have launched her into a longwinded babble to reassure him, but his silence stopped her. He knew, he needed no more, and there was nothing she could say about it. But there was one thing she knew he needed to know.   
  
"She believes now."   
  
For the first time since she entered he moved, she could feel the eyes that seemed ageless fall on her.   
  
"Your love, that it's real."   
  
His whisper startled her   
  
"Was"  
  
She was confused,   
  
"Was what?"   
  
"Real"   
  
The word though soft, seemed to vibrate the room. It clicked in her mind.   
  
"You mean, you don't..."   
  
"What was real five months ago here, was real an eternity ago for me."  
  
The sadness in the voices was almost enough to bring her to tears.   
  
"But, what about..."   
  
"Enough"   
  
This time the anger in the voices shook the room, though the word had been spoken casually. It silenced her instantly. Her thoughts that had been running a mile a minute suddenly crashed when they hit a bump.   
  
"You've read my mind haven't you?"   
  
There was a slight nod. It was the only way he could have known how long he had been gone. Then it struck her, he knew everything, why he had been summoned, the evil that was coming, he had read all their minds, he knew everything.   
  
"When you first summoned I didn't remember anything, where I was, who I had been here. I was confused, I began to look into you all, when I reached into you I found everything. I haven't done it since. And don't worry, certain memories were blocked to me."   
  
Her eyes widened when she realized what memories he was referring to.   
  
"So you know why you're here."   
  
He nodded.   
  
"I know why you're here."   
  
Her face flushed red with shame. One thing she noticed is that his voice was even, casual, uncaring, but the underlying voices in his conveyed the emotion. The voices then became kind.   
  
"You know I forgave you, I do not blame you for what you've done, I do not blame you for the pain I've felt. To forgive is the willingness to give trust again. I have seen into you. There is much to trust. You won't lose control again. And they know that also."   
  
The tears that had been welling up as he spoke fell at the finally words. Tentatively she reached out with her hand. Her fingers were almost to the hem of the hood when he moved again. Faster than the eye could see his hand appeared holding her hand gently at the edge.   
  
"They must never know, none of them."   
  
The words matched the voices behind them in pain and sadness. Slowly he pushed her hand away farther and farther. Trying not to let the rejection hurt, she wiped the tears away she decided to get down to business. He returned to his casual stance.  
  
"Are you going to help?"  
  
She could almost see the smirk appear.   
  
"Made a promise didn't I.?"  
  
++++  
  
A/N:HEEEE'S BAAAAACK! Well he's finally here, and I know some of you were hoping to figure out what he looks like, but tough luck. I'm saving that little writing gem for later.  
  
Well since there has been a major lack of reviews I've removed my "do not accept unsigned reviews" thingy, anyone can review and it is incouraged.   
  
I'd like to thank Charlie for sending me an e-mail telling me what he/she (couldn't tell form the name) thought of my work and that my shameless promotion of my favorite stories does work.   
  
I do implore you all that read this to read from my favorite authors and favorite stories. They are good stuff. Don't miss out.  
  
Thanks to those who did review and for all those who didn't, REVIEW MY STORY! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! REVIEW MY STORY! 


	6. Different time different place

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Buffy had yet to shake herself out of her daze. It was hard to take so many things in, especially in a short amount of time. New evil arising, Willow coming home, Xander in a suit. It was just too shocking to see a person who once was, as Xander himself said, Dracula's butt-monkey, looking dignified in a three piece suit.   
  
Just wasn't right.   
  
Oh, and also all the apocalypse stuff.   
  
The details that a very exhausted Giles gave weren't much, but was enough to get the gist of it. Big evil that was planning to take over the world but was stopped before it could come through, the followers found a way to bring it back and are mounting some powerful numbers. They were able to find the guy who stopped it in the first place and are sending him along with Willow over to Sunnydale to help.  
  
Course what frustrated her was the fact that Giles told them absolutely nothing about the guy, except he was some kind of powerful wizard guy, though she had a feeling he knew more than he was telling. She didn't press the matter, but she still felt irked by the fact he not too long ago got on her case for leaving important information out of their discussions.   
  
The numbness that had been building all through the discussion became solidified when Xander strolled in sporting his neatly brushed hair and nicely tailored suit. She tried to stay concentrated on what Xander was telling her, something about the Principles office and the Hellmouth. But it weirded her out beyond words how odd he looked, things had changed.   
  
Xander noticed her spaceyness and asked what was up.   
  
Obviously not wanting to say 'I didn't recognize you because you are actually being mature and not a goofball' she blurted out that Willow was coming home. His faced went from shocked to concerned, then happy all within five seconds. Dawn using her perfect timing came in with a resigned, concerned expression. Xander thought it was great news while Dawn was a bit concerned that maybe she wasn't ready.  
  
Buffy grimaced at the thought, Dawn had forgiven Willow a long time ago but never forgot what the witch was capable of. The question why she was coming home forced the whole story out of her, which made Dawn even more concerned and Xanders enthusiasm a bit dimmer. But the slayer felt they were all happy to see their friend.   
  
Anya had been informed later that day and just nodded saying that she hoped the Witch wasn't evil. Buffy had begun to really appreciate Anya's bluntness about life, and it didn't offend her much if the vengeance demon was candid about things, in fact it often made her laugh. Though Xander still didn't see the value in it and almost got into another fight with his ex over Willows rehabilitation. It struck the slayer odd that the flight was a night flight even though she got the news early in the morning. But she just shrugged it off.   
  
So here they were, Buffy, Xander and Dawn, waiting for their wayward friend to return bearing the news of a new threat.  
  
Xanders pacing was driving her insane.   
  
She was about to say something when her senses went crazy. She never felt anything like it, the feeling was almost like when she faced the master, but bigger, more ominous. Her eyes searched for the source of it but found nothing. Only half her mind was paying attention when Xander called out.   
  
"Willow"   
  
Her searching eyes caught a glimpse of the Redhead being bear-hugged by the hulking carpenter. Followed by a warm hug by Dawn. Buffy's feeling only grew stronger and soon she completely ignored everything around her except for her search for the source. But Willows voice brought her out of it.   
  
"Hey Buffy."   
  
It was a kind, quiet question that Buffy immediately understood. Without hesitation she warmly hugged the girl with a little too much strength.   
  
"Buffy, need air."   
  
Buffy immediately set her down and hopped back a little.   
  
"Oh sorry Wills."   
  
She just shrugged.   
  
"It's okay, sorry I had to come back bearing the apocalypticy news."   
  
Xander jumped in.   
  
"Hey, just glad your back, even with the foreboding badness behind ya."   
  
"Speaking of which where's this guy which Giles vaguely told us about."   
  
Buffy noticed Willow's body language shift into slight nervousness.  
  
"Oh, well, he's kinda, here already. Said he didn't like big crowds, but he said he'll meet us at the magic shop tomorrow."   
  
Xander and Dawn thought it was a bit odd but didn't question it. Buffy on the other hand knew something was off. It was when Willow's eyes darted to a corner while walking past that she noticed a shifting shadow.   
  
The slayer didn't say anything and continued on with her friends. But she knew that whoever this guy was, he was here, and definitely not human.   
  
When they got into the car and started driving her senses calmed and the presence that was nearly choking her disappeared. It was then Buffy relaxed and took a good look at her friend.   
  
Willows hair had grown longer, her face had become fuller and healthier. For an instant she forgot that this was the same person who had tried to kill them all almost five months ago. Xander chatted amiably about work and life around the house. Dawn jumped in a few times connecting what he said to things about school and such. She obviously had gotten comfortable around the witch since her arrival.   
  
They all had, it was nice to have their friend back.   
  
They set Willow in Buffy's old room and said bye to Xander. She herself went into a deep sleep.   
  
The dreams had stopped.   
  
The next morning Xander met them at the house while they were getting ready. They all set off with little problems. But any relaxation that Buffy felt soon melted as they neared the Magic Box, her senses were spiking again. Their visitor had gotten there before they had. When they entered, Anya was there to greet them.   
  
"Hey Willow, it is nice to see you and I hope that you don't go all power hungry again and try to kill us."   
  
Buffy had to stop herself from laughing. The way Anya was nodding and smiling, and everyone else's expression. Priceless.   
  
"Oh and Buffy, there's a demon here that I can't find or get rid of."   
  
Buffy knew what she was talking about, whoever or whatever it was that was causing her slayer senses to go haywire was inside.   
  
"I know Anya."   
  
When she turned to Willow the implication was clear and not lost on anyone. Course Xander was about to defend his friend, but was interrupted when the redhead's hand was placed on his chest. Looking a little confused and shocked he backed off. Willow herself was extremely nervous as she turned to the darkest corner of the shop and nodded. Everyone else turned their attention where she had motioned. For a moment there was nothing, just a darkened corner of the shop, which seemed odd since there was so much light.   
  
Then suddenly the shadows shifted and melded together to form their visitor.   
  
The visitor in question, from what they could tell was a few inches taller than Buffy, was casually leaning against the corner. He was wearing a coat that ended around his knees and accentuated his broad shoulders. The sleeves were loose all the way down until they hit the elbow where he wrapped each tightly all the way down his forearm. His hands were wrapped also and only his fingers were visible. Underneath he wore a vest with a hood sewn on. His pants were loose jeans and ragged Combat boots on his feet. And to top it all off, everything was pitch black. The hood obscured his face so no one could get a clear look.   
  
Xander jumped when the form appeared.  
  
"Good Godfrey Cambridge! Tell me this isn't the guy."   
  
Only Buffy could hear the growl come from the hooded form in the corner. Willow just nodded. He was about to continue when they noticed that Anya was cautiously walking up to their visitor. Buffy caught a glimpse of the expression on the vengeance demon's face. It could only be described as faint recognition mixed in with fear. Xander was calling her name but she gave no notice. The slayer almost didn't hear what she whispered.   
  
"Oh god it's you."   
  
That obviously meant something to the demon because the hooded head turned towards her. Xander automatically jumped forward and grabbed Anya's arm. This shocker her out of it. She shook him off her arm and did something they had never seen her do before.   
  
Stutter.   
  
"I...I need, I got to go and, I just, need to go check on my inventory."   
  
With that she walked passed everyone and went down into the basement. Everyone looked shocked and confused. Except for Willow, who Buffy noticed was a little relieved. Dawn was the one to cut the silence.   
  
"So, Willow, who's the new big bad."   
  
The witch brightened a bit at the fact she wasn't going to be asked directly about the new guest. When they all had sat down she explained everything, minus some minor details. After she was done everyone sat there for a moment assimilating everything that the witch had just said. Buffy broke the silence.  
  
"So Sunnydale's going to be the demon rally point until they can unleash the First?"   
  
"Afraid so."   
  
"Wait let me get this strait, huge numbers of demons are coming here to help release this ancient evil, and all we got is this guy as our back up? Oh yeah, liking these odds."   
  
Trust Xander to bring out the sarcasm. Willow automatically defended.   
  
"Xander, he's the only one in history that was able to do that, also we won't be alone."   
  
Buffy broke in.   
  
"Yeah Xand, I mean we could always call the Council, I mean, demons unleashing hell on earth that's right in their arena."   
  
The dark voice interrupted them. It was the first time they had heard it say anything.   
  
"Wrong"   
  
The nature of his voice startled everyone. Dawn nervously responded.   
  
"What do you mean."   
  
"The Followers perceive the slayer as the obstacle, because of that they will try to eliminate any support she might receive. Since the Watchers council is the biggest, they will be eliminated first."   
  
Buffy automatically shot up in her seat.   
  
"Giles, we've got to warn..."  
  
  
  
Willows voice stopped her.  
  
"He knows Buffy, he went to warn them."   
  
This made the slayer grudgingly sit down. She looked at the demon in the corner.   
  
"What will they do next?"   
  
She couldn't see it but she could feel his eyes meet hers. The chill up her spine told her so.   
  
"They will then try to eliminate any possibility of the slayer stopping them, which means eliminating the future slayers. Once they are dealt with, the focus of attention will be brought here."   
  
On cue Willow spoke.   
  
"We can't do much now, just prepare and try to keep the demon population down."   
  
Sighing Buffy nodded.   
  
"Alright, if that's all, Dawn could you go tell Anya she can open the store now."   
  
Xander stood up.   
  
"Well I have to get going, no rest for the studly construction worker."   
  
He hugged everyone and left. Buffy then turned to willow.   
  
"Will could you go in the back and see if you could research some protection spells that might hold them off?"   
  
Willow brightened a bit at the thought of being useful.   
  
"Sure buffy I'll get right on it."   
  
"Thanks, and..." She turned to where the demon once stood. "Where'd he go?"   
  
++++   
  
Anya was busily sweeping the basement. The shocking revelation had flummoxed her beyond recognition. She jumped a foot when the person behind her spoke.   
  
"I owe you."   
  
She whirled around to face the person she hadn't seen in five months. He had changed so much it made her sad. But she was confused about what he meant.  
  
"You could have given me away."   
  
"Well I figured that since you hadn't already told anyone that you didn't want them to know."   
  
There was silence for a few moments.   
  
"They wouldn't understand."   
  
"Why don't you try them?"   
  
The voices behind his became angered.   
  
"Because I choose not to."   
  
Anya didn't say anything and just nodded. The voice calmed and spoke kindly.  
  
"I am in your debt, you need something I'll be there."   
  
The upstairs door suddenly opened. Dawn stepped down.   
  
"Hey Anya, Buffy said they're done, you can...who were you talking to?"   
  
Anya looked back behind her. Any trace of him was gone back into the shadow.   
  
"No one."   
  
++++  
  
A/N: That was a long Friggin chapter. It also felt a little off character wise. But I haven't eaten in 12 hours so that maybe it.  
  
Please review and tell me if I'm right or wrong and how I'm doing.   
  
I'm going to go get some grub before I waste away and you're left with a unfinished sequel. 


	7. Selfless favors

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
A week ago Willow would have thrown up at the sight of something like this. Course that's what she did a week ago. It was the third demon bar they found like this.   
  
The whole group walked through the destroyed place with a sort of sickening numbness. There were demons everywhere, and she meant everywhere, on the floor, on the bar, on the walls, on the ceiling, in the drinks. The biggest piece left was half a carcass missing its head and arms.   
  
It was the same as the others. The doors though flimsy had been locked and for some reason unbreakable, though not through a lack of trying, they were covered in all different kinds of claw marks. And down the middle of the bar there was a untouched path which led from the door to the middle of the room, from there the carnage radiated.   
  
They all knew who was doing this, but only she knew why he was doing this.   
  
They hadn't seen him in five days. She knew why he had gone on a rampage. After Willow arrived there had been a bulge in Demon activity. Buffy assured them she was fine and that she could handle it. They believed her since there was still no sign the danger had been focused on them yet. But when the slayer had come home with a black eye and gut wound, they all decided to patrol. They didn't notice that the shadowed figure in the corner had disappeared until after they bandaged Buffy. On the second day of his disappearance they decided to check with Willie to see if he had any information on where their wayward boogyman was.   
  
When they got there Willow puked, Xander was close to doing so, Buffy was shocked, and Anya just looked on in appreciation.   
  
Willow still got a little unnerved around the vengeance demon. Though she thought it odd that she never had seen Anya get called away to business, she didn't think D'hoffryn was one to be put on hold but hadn't heard anything about it.   
  
They found Willie in the back frantically packing up what wasn't destroyed. From what they could get out of his hysterical ramblings some guy came in here and slaughtered everything in there. Said something about sending a message. Willow automatically new it was him.   
  
She guessed it was the image of Buffy bleeding that set him off, at least that's what she hoped set him off. Willow still held the belief that somewhere deep inside, the Spike they knew was lying asleep, buried under all that pain.   
  
When Xander turned a normal shade of green and asked Buffy what could do this, she just said something big and powerful demon or a pregnant lady with a major mood swing. Willow had an odd feeling that the slayer had a suspicion who it was but kept it to herself.   
  
They all returned home to a very inquisitive Dawn, who chose to stay behind to work on some history homework. Xander had made the comment that they could find anything but brains on the drywall. This sent Willow a recall image and then sent her to the bathroom. She got herself under control and went downstairs with a suggestion. There was a spell that could help locate him. After performing the spell, and burning the rug they went to the address on the map where he might be.   
  
It turned out to be another demon bar. It seemed to have closed a few minutes ago, mainly because all of the alcohol the customers drank was now all over the place, along with the customers. They all were shocked but managed to keep the food they had eaten on the inside, well except for Dawnie who demanded that she come along. When Willow was done patting Dawns back she heard Xander ask the million dollar question  
  
"He did this didn't he?"  
  
He got the answer he expected and then went into a huge rant listing the reasons why they shouldn't let him in the house or the magic box. The main point of his argument was the fact there was nothing stopping the shadowed figure from flipping out and putting them in a blender. Dawn brought up the good point that if the demon was ever to slaughter anyone it would most likely be Xander.  
  
It was funny because he seemed shocked that everyone agreed. Buffy had had enough and decided that they do the nightly patrol.   
  
That was another thing that dropped dramatically, the encounters were localized down to fledglings, and even those were scarce. Willow could tell this was pissing Buffy off.   
  
The slayer's life and family were threatened, and someone else was taking care of it.   
  
They did the spell again, though this time they did it on the sidewalk outside to avoid nasty rug burns. Anya had some work to do at the Magic shop, while Dawn declined going saying something about just eating and didn't want to taste it a second time. They had just arrived and from the looks of things they had just missed him. The blood hadn't stopped flowing.   
  
"This guy doesn't get tired does he?"   
  
Willow had the feeling the question was directed at her. The redhead knew Buffy suspected she knew more than what she was telling. Luckily the slayer had yet to confront her on it. Xander stumblied after tripping on a severed head.   
  
"My thinking that this guy shouldn't be let near us is looking better and better."   
  
Willow just sighed.   
  
"Xander."   
  
"No he's right."   
  
Buffy's voice determination caught them off guard.   
  
"I'm right? Well of course I'm right."   
  
Willow ignored him.   
  
"Buffy..."   
  
"Listen Will, we know next to nothing, no, scratch that, we know nothing about who or what this guy is,"   
  
Her voice was rising, this had been building since Willow came back.   
  
"And now we find Bars filled with demon sushi. I'm not feeling like the trusting type. Now unless you give me something, tell me something about this guy I'm not going to let him within fifty feet of the house or Dawn."   
  
Willow was torn beyond belief. She had sworn not to tell anyone, but what could she do, they needed him as a part of the fight. She couldn't do that without telling her friend. The witch opened her mouth to say something when there was a spray of blood on everyone's face.   
  
Buffy was instantly in fighting position between the Scoobies and the danger. They had been so engrossed in their little fight that they hadn't noticed a slightly injured demon sneaking up on them.   
  
Said demon now had an axe buried in it's skull. The demon stood there for a second before falling on it's knees then to it's side. The person they had been searching for now three days casually walked up, braced his foot against the twitching demons skull and ripped the axe out. The hooded figure's head turned to them,   
  
"Missed one."   
  
Without saying anything else he exited through the clawed doors. Willow could feel Buffy's anger taking hold. The slayer took off after the strolling figure, with Willow and Xander struggling to keep up.   
  
"Hey, mister slice and dice, mind telling me what the hell that was back there!"   
  
He didn't stop walking.   
  
"I was sending a message."   
  
The slayer got in front of him and stopped so he couldn't move past.   
  
"What that you were to intense for playing the leading role in American Psycho!"   
  
Willow could feel the anger start to radiate off him and heard it in his voice.   
  
"Listen slayer, soon there will be demons beyond powerful running all around here, and not you, your little gang or I will be able to fight them all. The demons already here are small pickings and cannot distract us. So I did what was necessary."   
  
Willow and Xander were five feet away and even they felt intimidated. But to her credit the smaller slayer didn't even flinch.   
  
"Then you need to tell me, and I will decide whether it's worth the time. There can only be one leader around here giving out the orders, and I'm it."   
  
Though Willow knew Buffy couldn't see his eyes she could tell they were trying to stare each other down. The silence was broken with a deep laughter.   
  
"You win slayer."   
  
Willow froze a moment. She didn't notice it before, but the whispering voices behind his had begun to meld together. Becoming more and more like the voice he once had. The witches eyes searched Buffy's face as the Demon moved passed the slayer. There was a faint recognition, but she could tell the moment her friend shrugged it off. Xanders voice interrupted her internal rant.   
  
"Alright that was weird."   
  
Willow smirked.   
  
"Just your run of the mill power struggle. Guess that's a big no on your kicking him out?"   
  
Xander gave her a sidelong glance.   
  
"I still don't trust him. But trust isn't a big right now, we need him, that's all."   
  
Willow grimaced, but nodded. They noticed that all of them had been walking toward the magic shop. Catching up to the two up ahead walking silently they entered.   
  
"I can't do it anymore!"   
  
They all stopped dead in there tracks. Anya was arguing with what looked like a very pissed off D'Hoffryn.   
  
"Anyanka you have chosen a path, bonded yourself with the will of vengeance, if you refuse you will suffer!"   
  
Buffy was the first to interject.   
  
"Anya what's going on!"   
  
Anya quickly went to the Slayer.  
  
"Buffy..."   
  
The blue horned demon interrupted   
  
"It seems your friend has had a change of heart. Unfortunately that was not in the agreement."   
  
Willow saw Xanders face brighten and sink.   
  
"What do you mean."   
  
This time Anya answered this time.   
  
"I can't do it anymore, it's very upsetting. I've tried to tell him that but..."   
  
The vengeance demon was getting worked up. Buffy could stand seeing her friend in that kind of distress. They had become closer friends over the past month and it showed.   
  
"It's alright Anya  
  
Getting that look of determination on her face again she turned to the horned smurf.   
  
"She quits, she can't do it anymore, she's done."   
  
Her confidence was rolling off her but D'hoffryn just looked at her as if she were just a bug.   
  
"It is not your decision, she chose the life of vengeance, and there is nothing you can do about it."   
  
Buffy was still arguing with D'hoffryn and Xander was joining in when Willow saw Anya's eyes turn to the figure leaning against the wall. She also noticed the figure was staring at the vengeance demon. A whole conversation passed between them. In the end he nodded and stepped forward. The Smurf was loosing his patience when the demon in black stepped up. Anya pulled a very confused Xander and Buffy away from the two. Very calmly he spoke.   
  
"She's done, you will let her go."   
  
They all saw the fire light in D'Hoffryns eyes.   
  
"How dare you demon presume to tell me, master of the vengeance demons, what to do. I swear you will feel pain like none oth..."   
  
His speech was cut off.   
  
So was his head.   
  
As the body crumpled to the floor the demon holding the dripping axe turned and walked out the door. As he passed Anya he spoke   
  
"We're even."  
  
++++  
  
A/N: I'm a lean mean writing machine! (Okay that was lame) Anyway here is chapter seven for you all to chew on.  
  
I sort of rushed the proof reading process so there will probably be more spelling and sentence structure errors than usual.   
  
I will now hypnotize you.   
  
*Play wierd hypnotizing music*   
  
you will review, you will review, also you will get me a cheese burger with extra ketsup.   
  
If that didn't work just review! please! 


	8. Conversations with the living

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
She didn't know why she still went there. That was a lie, she knew why she went there. But why did it mean so much to her.   
  
It was just a crypt, nothing but bones and ashes inside.   
  
But it was the only place she could go when life got too stressful and it felt like things would cave in. Today being a perfect example. She was in stir. All they could do was wait. She tried researching with the others, but soon there was nothing left to research. Dawn was looking through her new database of demons finding the biggest and baddest, then listing their weaknesses. Willow was Casting protection spells left and right. Wards were placed at the new school to alert them of problems, the strongest protection spells were placed at the house and magic box. Xander was busy at work, but brought back some basic supplies for repair and reinforcement.   
  
Buffy was left with nothing to do except think.   
  
She couldn't even patrol.   
  
Whatever message slice-n-dice had sent, it had been received. There was nothing to kill. Even the hellmouth, beacon to all evil in the world, was silent. She couldn't sleep, the fact that potential slayers, little girls were dying, was giving her nightmares.   
  
The worst thing was that she still hadn't heard from Giles.   
  
All this had been mounting for the last week. Which brought her to the ritual she performed every time life got too much. She would just walk and sit against the door, looking at the stars. She would look at them and wonder whether those who passed before her were looking down on her, the past slayers before her, her cousin, Miss Calendar, Her mom.   
  
But she never thought of Spike being up there, watching after her. She was sure William was, looking down on them and wondering what was going to happen. No, her Spike was somewhere else.   
  
He was in the stone behind her, in the bones inside, in the wood against her back, in the soil under her feet.   
  
When she was here she could almost hear his voice, and when she closed her eyes she could imagine his arms holding her. She did this until the knot in her stomach disappeared or until the weight on her shoulders didn't seem so heavy. Time seemed to disappear here, minutes could turn into hours and hours into minutes.   
  
It didn't matter.   
  
It was the stillness that soothed her, his ability to make everything slow to a halt. Things no longer raced a mile a minute, creatures no longer wanted to kill her or her family. It became all about the single moment, a single heartbeat. It became the wood behind her back, the soil under her feet. Things didn't need to make sense and you didn't have to fight.   
  
Everything just existed.   
  
And when everything started moving again, all the things that had been knotting her up or weighing her down, didn't seem to be as terrible or unbearable as before. Calmly she got up and brushed off any leaves that might have stuck to her pant.   
  
Walking away she stopped for a moment and turned around.   
  
So strange something like this place could mean so much. It made her laugh that the one place she could go was in the middle of the graveyard, and used to be the home of a feared vampire. It didn't bring tears to her eyes anymore, just put a small, sad smile on her face. Turning back toward the house she began to walk home.   
  
About halfway through the cemetery she felt him.   
  
The demon she, much to everyone else's agreement, dubbed slice-n-dice was around. She could tell that he was too far away to have been following her, so what was he doing.   
  
This piqued her curiosity.   
  
The Slayer knew next to nothing about this guy. She didn't even know if he was a guy. Everything she did know was what she saw.   
  
He had obeyed her orders and stopped going on the rampage he was set on. She didn't know why she stopped him, it was helping her out. Just the fact it was her fight he was fighting bothered her. She didn't like being benched, especially if the challenge was to her.   
  
So he had submitted to her authority, though she did doubt she could take him in a fight. And as a part of that submission, once a day he would appear before dusk and help out whenever he could. The rest of the gang would try and make small talk but he was unresponsive. He just did the job and went on his way. Buffy didn't know why, but when he was around she was on alert but at the same time comfortable.   
  
It was obvious that Willow knew more about him than she was telling. But since the incident with D'Hoffryn she had clamped her mouth shut. Even with all these questions around she still allowed this vicious, powerful demon near her loved ones.   
  
Xander brought up that fact enough times to make her question herself. But each time she silenced him with the phrase that explained a lot of things she couldn't. She trusted her instincts, and her instincts were telling her that this guy wasn't a threat, well, at least not to their side.   
  
Following her senses she moved carefully toward the source. As she neared she heard a strange song carrying on the wind.   
  
"Early one morning, just as the sun was rising..."   
  
It was so faint, but something was itching at the back of her brain, something she knew. Shrugging it off Buffy continued until she spotted him. The scene was so simple and innocent that she almost forgot what she had seen him do in those bars.   
  
He was just sitting on a long box tomb, and from what she could tell, he was just looking up at the moon lit sky. The slayer knew he sensed her, but to his credit he just continued to sing his song, the voices behind his in complete harmony.   
  
Buffy slowly walked towards him memorized the pure feeling behind it. For the first time since she met him, she looked and saw a little bit of herself. Her pain that isolated her from everyone else, the weight that burdened her for so long. A weight that she tried to keep for herself and not lay on others.   
  
A thought stopped her dead, the weight on his shoulders had turned him into this, could it happen to her.   
  
She resumed her slow walk, and when it was done she found herself standing next to him. She noticed that he always kept his head bowed. She had a suspicion that he wouldn't if no one was there.   
  
"Hey."   
  
He said nothing, but by the nod of his head she knew he heard her.   
  
"Nice song."   
  
Nothing.   
  
"Where'd you hear it?"   
  
Nothing. The silence was starting to piss her off.   
  
"Listen, sorry for interrupting, just trying to be friendly."   
  
Silence. She turned to walk off when a whisper stopped her.   
  
"Learned it when I was a boy."   
  
That was a shocker. Slowly turning she tried to build momentum.  
  
"Who taught it to you?"  
  
His voice was deep and sad.   
  
"My mother."   
  
Being brave she continued.   
  
"You were human?"   
  
Moving over a bit, he waved her to sit.   
  
"Long time ago, so long it seems like a dream sometimes."   
  
She sat as he said this. It was hard for her to wrap her mind around it. There was silence for a what seemed like forever. It wasn't awkward, each were lost in their own memories.   
  
"Can you still feel him?"   
  
This startled her, the defenses were on their way up when he continued.   
  
"When I first got here, I knew nothing of where I was, what I was, why I was brought here, so I read the witches mind, and threw her connection to you all, I read yours as well."   
  
Buffy's face turned beat red, from anger or embarrassment, no one knew.   
  
"Don't worry, like I told the witch, there are some things that are blocked, to even me."   
  
His voice, or should she say the voices behind his, weren't patronizing, just deep and serious. Getting herself under control she sat there for a moment. He had answered his questions, she should return the courtesy.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Does he speak to you."   
  
Sighing again.   
  
"Sometimes I can imagine what he would say, and almost hear him."   
  
"Sounds like he meant a lot to you."   
  
Looking down she nodded.   
  
"Yeah he did. I don't think he knew how much. Always did my best to make sure he thought the exact opposite."   
  
"Why?"   
  
There was a bitter smile on her face.   
  
"Because he loved me."   
  
His silence was a unasked question itself.   
  
"Because I couldn't bring my pain on my friends, so I put it on him. I kept telling myself that he was just a thing. He didn't love or feel."   
  
She fiddled with her hands before she continued.   
  
"I think I just wanted to be dead, but in a way I wanted to be alive at the same time. And him loving me, made me feel like I was alive. I guess that's why I did the things I did. I beat him down to make the feeling stop and used him to make the feeling come back. The funny thing is he was supposed to be the enemy, but he was the only one that made me feel, not my friends, the ones who are supposed to love me."   
  
Looking up at the moon she quietly finished.   
  
"I tried to do the right thing. I saw what I was doing and tried to end the cycle. I told him that it was killing me, but really I knew it was killing him."   
  
There was a pause.   
  
"But I guess it was too late."   
  
There was silence for a long time. There was no judgement in it, no accusation, just acceptance in it. Trying to get her mind off of what she just said she turned to him.   
  
"You've been coming here at night haven't you?"   
  
He didn't say anything but just nodded.   
  
"Why?"   
  
His voice this time almost seemed human.   
  
"The same reason you do, to feel and listen to a love I lost a long time ago. To live amongst the dead"  
  
It confused her.   
  
"I was a man once, but through pain I chose a path that damned me. Of course fate in all it's humor made me fall in love. And when I was with her I could feel the warmth that had caused me pain when I was a man."   
  
His voice grew dark and suddenly Buffy felt a stab of fear.   
  
"The person I loved did not love me, could not love me. In desperation to make the pain stop I killed her, I killed the love so I might be free. But it only intensified it."  
  
He stopped there. The darkness disappeared from his voice.   
  
"I died, and for my sins I was sent to hell. And even here hell still haunts me, because I am tortured by the memory of the warmth. The love I could have felt but destroyed in my own desperation."   
  
Buffy sat rigid, each word cutting her. The sound of his next words nearly broke her.   
  
"Even though it causes me great pain, I still imagine sometimes, what it might have been like."   
  
The slayer could see him shake himself out of the old memories.   
  
"Your still using him. To feel, only you no longer want to be dead"   
  
The silence after this fell like a steel door. She got up off the tomb unable to listen anymore. Looking at his form, this broken form she suddenly saw what the slayer had feared. What she might become, the dark part of her heart that would consume her. Not bearing it any longer she turned to walk away.   
  
But for the second time tonight his voice commanded her stillness.   
  
"I have known for the longest time that I am alone, that I will live forever unloved, a twisted creature who is a glutton for punishment. I come here to numb the pain of the weight that has broken my back time and time again because there is no one to help me carry it. And in a way I'm in love with the pain and cannot live without it."   
  
You come here to do the same.  
  
Your back has been broken by it, but you've managed to heal and get back up. But the stillness you seek does not relinquish that weight, just numbs the pain. Your back will be broken again."   
  
He paused standing up off the tomb. He turned towards her, and even though she didn't see a face or eyes, she felt them go through her.   
  
"Your friends do not bear your weight if you tell them the burdens of your life. You include them into your life if you tell them the burdens in it. With that the weight will lesson and no longer crush, but strengthen you and those around you."   
  
With that he turned of into the direction opposite to what she was facing. Her face was hard, but the tears running down her cheeks were evidence of the words getting through. As he walked away his final words hit her ears.   
  
"We need as much strength as we can if we are to survive the approaching storm. The calm is coming to an end. The hurricane is just off the shore."  
  
++++  
  
A/N: Chapter eight, ah it seems like only yesterday that it was chapter 2. Hmmmm the memories.  
  
Alright enough of that crap.  
  
This chapter was edited five times before I felt I got it right. I wanted the things said here to have some basis int he BTVS universe. I hope I did a good job at that.   
  
IF not you can tell me by reviewing or e-mailing me at igore_12584@yahoo.com  
  
Come on I dare you to review. CHICKEEEEEEN BAWK BAWK BAWK B-BAAAWK! (I know, childish but it works sometimes) 


	9. Axes and Mops

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
It's times like these she misses the coven. She had her own room and bathroom. Everyone got three meals a day and a warm comfy bed. Now she shared her room with two other people.   
  
The fact one of them snored wasn't the bad part.   
  
The fact one of them kept flirting with her and making her blush wasn't the bad part, not bad at all.   
  
No, the bad part was that there was twelve people in one house, and only one bathroom. Which meant that if you ever wanted to see a shower or toothbrush before breakfast, you had to get up before dawn. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't spend each day staying up until ungodly hours training, patrolling or researching. And to top everything off, it seemed the demon activity was building again. Willow sighed as she walked to the bathroom.   
  
Things were getting worse.   
  
The fight that had been slowly building was picking up speed. But so had the number of people in the house.   
  
Two weeks after Slice-n-dice ended the rampage he had been on, Giles arrived. They were at Buffy's house at the time, all eating/researching some spell that made certain demons heads explode. They were arguing over who got the last donut when the doorbell rang and Buffy snatched it while getting up. They immediately ran to the door when they heard Buffy's scream. Course they had mistaken a squeal of joy for a scream of terror.   
  
Willow thought about how that reflected the level of tension.   
  
They all were in anticipation. They knew the fight was coming and were in full attack mode when they reached the door. What they found was not what they had expected. A teary eyed slayer hugging a slightly red Giles. The redness was either from the fact the slayer was not checking her strength, effectively cutting off his air supply, or from the fact there were three men and women standing behind him watching.   
  
Buffy noticed their audience and let go of a slightly panting Watcher.   
  
Later in the living room Giles briefed them on the situation at hand. The Watchers counsel had been destroyed, blown up apparently. Fortunately he was able to warn them, though his warning had gone mostly unheard, a hand full were able to walk out before the building exploded. They then had set out to warn the field watchers. Sadly though there were few left.   
  
After consolidating their forces the began gathering potential slayers and sending them to different covens that could protect them and safe-houses around the world. The few potential slayers who already were being trained and had watchers assigned to them were sent to Sunnydale.   
  
The men who came with Giles were watchers. And the women were their slayers in training. The three men were Davis O'Neil, Charles Winthrop and Augustus Chamberlin.   
  
Davis was the same height as giles except he had straight black hair that was cut short in a business like way. His face was a picture of italy. He looked to be in his thirties. He was dressed in a semi casual manner and looked like he could have been a hot teacher.   
  
Charles Winthrop was the tallest of the three. He looked to be in his 40's and looked to be a snobbish New Englander. His hair was receding and dressed in the usual tweed. His face was long and narrow. He looked and acted like he could be a mean principle.   
  
Augustus was short, tweed dressed man with a small face and beedy eyes. He looked like he could be the Janitor no one noticed. The slayers themselves were a clear result of their watchers.   
  
Davis's trainee, Rona, a seventeen year old Girl with cocoa skin and braided black hair, was strong and independent, but relied on him much like Buffy relied on Giles, but because of his age he lost that fatherly stature, becoming more of a teacher and a friend.   
  
Charle's, or 'Mr. Winthrop' as he so promptly corrected Willow, potential was Alice, a mousy girl who you had to tell to do something all the time. She was obviously a product of the teaching "A slayer is a tool, a weapon" and had almost now self-assuredness or confidence. Because of his belief in the "weapon" belief he often wore a disapproving grimace whenever around Buffy or her friends. Even more so was his discouragement of Alice in interacting with them. So she always kept her distance. Only taking orders.   
  
Finally Augustus's trainee was Kennedy. Keeping with his looks, he was not confident or commanding, often giving up to her suggestions. This in tern made her very argumentative and bossy. Also very stubborn, she wouldn't give up until she got her way. She and Rona often clashed. The potential was very obviously gay and made a habit of making Willow blush.   
  
Willow herself didn't really know how she should be feeling about it. For some reason this was stirring up feelings that had been labeled long ago "Tara feelings" but this wasn't Tara, so what did that mean?   
  
Shaking it off she felt his presence outside the house. It was faint, like a feather across the skin. Not enough to keep you awake, or alarm you, just enough to let you know he was there. They had asked that he not show up in front of their guests. Oddly enough Willow couldn't think of a reason why. But there had to be one, because when he showed up like clockwork one night to see if they needed help they all told him. He didn't say anything, but she could tell he didn't like it. That was about a week ago. From then on he would approach them when they were alone. Willow noticed that he talked to Buffy more than anyone else. What did that mean?   
  
Since the time they had arrived things started getting worse. They had seen their first demon in a long time. And soon they were all fighting at least three demons a night.   
  
What scared her was the fact she knew slice-n-dice, as Buffy dubbed him, was patrolling also, and if three demons could get past him, then how many were actually hunting. Patrolling itself was a daily debate, and through it the chain of command was set up.   
  
Mr. Winthrop would often try to talk over Buffy to Giles about certain decisions that had to be made. Davis would throw ideas out everyone, but hesitated from taking orders from Butty. Augustus just did what he was told.   
  
Giles was actually the most surprising, Buffy had fallen into the leader position, giving orders on training, patrolling, everything. But Giles still tried to be that role, because he had always been the one to give orders and Buffy to kinda follow them. Willow knew it bothered Buffy, but there had yet to be a confrontation. She knew though that it was building on the horizon.   
  
The potentials themselves were easier to deal with, well except for Kennedy. She would often try to listen in on Scooby meetings as if she was one of them or would challenge an order from Buffy she didn't like. That pissed Buffy off to no end and she showed it freely.   
  
Things were not going along smoothly.   
  
There was a little itch at the back of the witches mind. She still didn't understand why they all had insisted he stay away.   
  
Finishing her shower and scrubbing her teeth she turned to go down the hall.   
  
Out of the corner of her eyes she caught a glint of metal. Acting out of instinct she ducked down just as a axe buried itself in the door frame. She looked up to see Augustus, only his face was twisted into a angry sneer as he struggled to get the axe out of the frame. Thinking quickly she threw her hands up to create a electrical shock, but nothing happened. It was as if he was protected. He finally managed to rip the axe out. He then looked at the witch on the floor with a sickening smile. She opened her mouth to scream but before she could he silenced her with a word laced with magic.   
  
"Goodbye witch."   
  
His voice had become something high-pitched and throaty. The terror she hadn't felt in a long time coursed through her as he raised his axe. She closed her eyes when she saw it start to move down.   
  
But the blow never came, instead she heard the distinct sound of a fist meeting a head at high speeds, and then the sound of a body and axe hitting the floor.   
  
Opening one eye she saw that Chamberlin had been knocked out and was bleeding from a cut on the head. In an instant Buffy was at her side.   
  
"God Willow you okay!?"   
  
The witch suddenly got her voice back.   
  
"He, he was going, and I couldn't."   
  
"What the Bloody hell is going on here!"   
  
They both looked to see a very irate and tired Winthrop in his bathrobe. Willow had to bite back a small laugh at the way his hair was going in all directions,   
  
well what was left of it.   
  
Her body was still shaking from the adrenaline rush. The scoobies were sitting with along with the potentials around the kitchen island. Giles and the other watchers were standing outside of it. Giles was rubbing his glasses like they had been in a big puddle of mud.   
  
"Are you quite sure?"  
  
He sounded a bit more than angry.   
  
"Yeah, it's kinda hard not to be sure when he's swinging an axe at your head."   
  
Catching himself his voice took a softer tone.   
  
"What I mean is, are you sure it was him doing it, could he have been controlled?"   
  
Willow thought about it for a moment.   
  
"I'm pretty sure, I mean when he missed, I tried to call out for help, but he magiced me so I couldn't."   
  
Winthrop scoffed.   
  
"A member of the counsel working for the other side, it's preposterous."   
  
Davis interjected.   
  
"Actually it's really quite strategic, what better way for them to strike at us, but from within."   
  
Willow could almost see the crush forming in Dawns heart.  
  
Xander commented.   
  
"But how did no one notice, I mean, He must have been with people on a regular basis, so how did no one notice."   
  
Kennedy's sad voice was heard.   
  
"Well they could have killed him and replaced him. I mean the man would take walks during the night. They could have gotten him and replaced him."   
  
They all nodded and discussed what they should do with the, whatever it was, downstairs. Dawns voice interrupted them.   
  
"Wait, Buffy how did you know Willow was in trouble. I mean he magiced her so she couldn't speak, so how did you know?"  
  
Buffy's brow furrowed.   
  
"I'm not sure. I I heard a voice telling me to wake up, and when I got up to look I heard a noise, probably the axe hitting the door frame. Before I knew it there was Chamberlin, holding the axe."   
  
Everyone pondered for a moment trying to figure out who might have been able to wake her. The sound of the newspaper slapping onto the counter brought everyone's attention to the vengeance demon.   
  
"It's so obvious."   
  
Xander was the first to ask.   
  
"Who Anh?"   
  
Rolling her eyes she looked straight at Buffy.  
  
"Who isn't here and would have most likely figured out something was wrong?"   
  
They could see the realization wash over the Slayer. Xander made eye contact, the question shining.   
  
"Slice-n-dice."   
  
"Who?"   
  
Xander was the one who answered the question.   
  
"Our resident do gooder demon. He came with Willow."   
  
His eyes reached Giles who took it from there.   
  
"Slice-n-dice, from what the coven has told me and I will not ask why you all call him that, was the only creature able to banish the first evil. The followers of that evil seek to resurrect it. So naturally they summoned him and sent him here with Willow."   
  
When it was obvious Giles had no more information Kennedy was the first to speak up.   
  
"So when do we meet him?"   
  
The gang looked at each other nervously, except for Buffy who just looked at Kennedy. Willow could tell the slayer's mind was debating something, but she just didn't know what. Dawn was the one who answered.   
  
"We kinda asked him not to come here in front of you guys."   
  
She said the last part quickly as if hoping to soften the blow.   
  
"Why on earth did you do that?"   
  
Dawn cringed at the slight harshness in Giles tone. Davis came to the defense in a casual tone.   
  
"Well obviously Chamberlin knew this Slice and dice fellow could make him, so he probably put a spell on them to keep him away, fortunately it didn't work."   
  
Willow caught Dawn's shy smile. They all agreed, even Xander, though he was a bit hesitant.   
  
"When he comes to see you ask him to stay so we might meet this 'do-gooder demon."   
  
Willow wondered if Winthrop was a demon himself. Before she met him she thought she would never meet anyone more condescending and snobby than Cordelia.   
  
She was wrong. He was looking at Giles as he spoke.   
  
"Now to the subject of interrogation of the prisoner..."   
  
Willow almost moved from the table when Buffy got up. But to her surprise the slayer was calm when she spoke.   
  
"Actually I don't think that will be a problem."   
  
Everyone looked at her with questioning gazes. She wore a smile that said she was enjoying putting Winthrop in his place.   
  
"Everyone meet Slice-n-Dice."   
  
Holding her hand out toward the basement door they all turned to see the figure clad in black leaning casually against the basement door. The guests stepped back as they noticed that he was slowly wiping his blood covered hands with a rag. They stood silent for a moment before he threw the rag in the trash and turned his head toward Buffy. The watchers and potentials noticed that even though the kitchen was well lit they couldn't see his face. The potentials were startled when he spoke.   
  
"Your going to need a mop and bucket."  
  
++++  
  
A/N:That was the longest friggin chapter yet. I hope you like it, I really didn't feel like writing so the beginning might be a bit off or sloppy.  
  
I also didn't have the energy to edit it really well, so there are probably a lot of errors.  
  
I beg that you review this, and I command that you visit my favorite stories and authors. Obey or suffer. kidding :) (mostly) 


	10. Love that is a curse

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Buffy could hear Xander cursing.   
  
The poor guy got the short straw when they were choosing who cleaned what in the house. He got hosing down the basement. Willow got to clean the bathroom and living room and She got to clean the kitchen. Looking at it, it almost looked worse than what Xander had to do.   
  
She didn't let anyone go down there until after breakfast, because she knew from what she's seen of Slice-n-Dices work, no one would be able to eat after seeing what he done to Chamberlin.   
  
Once everyone finished breakfast she and Anya took out what was left of the body. The slayer knew it wouldn't upset the ex-demon too much, well not as much as everyone else. All through breakfast she felt their eyes on her. She could almost feel the tension in all of them. It wasn't that the slayer didn't understand their reactions. But it didn't bother her any less.  
  
She was trying to save the world, she doesn't have time to hesitate.   
  
Sometimes she just wanted to scream, all her life she had been taught to be a leader, either socially or in her duty. Now when things were bad and getting worse, she kept having to deal with those who either questioned her or wanted to lead themselves.   
  
Giles was the one who infuriated her the most. She loved him more than anything, but he kept placing the burden of being the leader, the general, on her shoulders, then turning around and giving orders, circumventing her. It was pissing her off. And now he was leaning against the counter, watching her while she cleaned. Exasperated she sighed and looked at Giles, arms dropping to her sides.   
  
"What?"   
  
Of course he chose his calmest voice.   
  
"What was that about?"   
  
Knowing what he was say she answered.   
  
"What do you mean?."   
  
"Buffy you know what I mean."   
  
She could hear the annoyance dripping from his words. Sighing.   
  
"Giles, I made a decision, it's done, that's it."   
  
"Buffy you let a demon torture and disembowel a person."   
  
"A person who A. is trying if not helping to bring about hell on earth, B. In turn helped kill hundreds of innocent girls, and C. Just tried to kill my friend a few hours ago. Not only that, think of what might have happened if he had succeeded. Do you think he would have stopped with her? No, and I don't think he would hesitate to kill Dawn in her sleep."   
  
He looked down and let out his breath.   
  
"Your right, if he had his choice we would all be dead."   
  
She could see in his eyes that he wasn't finished.   
  
"But what happened down there, in that basement."   
  
Quietly she interrupted him.   
  
"I know."   
  
"Then you also know why I'm worried about you."   
  
"Yeah, I do."   
  
Nodding, he knew she understood the warning and accepted it.  
  
"I trust you Buffy, but be careful, don't let the things around you twist you into something your not."   
  
She could feel her face starting to prepare for her tears. No tears came but a smile lit her face. What was better was he smiled back. They broke eye contact and the smiles disappeared.   
  
"Ugggh these were my favorite work boots!"   
  
Xanders weird high pitched voice traveled to the kitchen causing the two to be brought back to their situation. Soon he opened the door from the basement muttering about getting eyeball gunk out of leather.   
  
"Well lets go see what he found out."   
  
Nodding, they moved into the strangely quiet living room. It was strange because everyone was in the living room, and you couldn't get these people together without having an argument springing up. But now it was just whispers.   
  
Anya was sitting comfortably in one of the chairs reading a spell book while Dawn and Willow were at the computer typing away. The watchers were talking near the corner while the potentials were circled on the couch, giving wary glances to the far corner, which Buffy guessed was where Slice-n-dice had decided to lurk. She didn't catch what they were saying, but she already knew, they were deciding whether to trust him or her decision. Deciding to get on with it.   
  
"Alice, could you get Xander. Tell him there's a meeting."   
  
Alice like a good puppy scampered off to go as she was told. Turning her gaze to the rest of them, she noticed that the potentials were nervous while Davis and Winthrop were concerned. Course both probably had completely different reasons. When Alice came back with Xander, Buffy began.   
  
"As you know Augustus is, or I should say was, one of the persons who are responsible for all of this, the council, the other girls, the increase of demons. He was a part of the reason you are here, fearing for you lives. Being one of those persons also means that he has, had, inside information on what their plans are. He was protected by magic so we couldn't force him to tell us or read his mind. I made the decision to have him."   
  
She pointed to the corner where Slice-n-dice was leaning against the wall.   
  
"To find out, by any means. He did. Whether or not you trust him doesn't matter, he is in the fight to save your lives. We need him, that is enough."   
  
Taking a breath she turned to him and stepped back. He obviously understood, but didn't move from his spot. Buffy felt more than saw Kennedy shrink when his head turned towards her.   
  
"He died before you came here. They used a shape-shifter, a very rare demon, to replace him."   
  
Kennedy bowed her head and the slayer could see the tears shining in her eyes. Buffy noticed something odd, his voice, or voices started to sound more like just one.   
  
"He was sent here specifically to kill the witch. They knew he wouldn't be able to knock off more than one or two of you before he was caught."   
  
Willows face went a little paler than usual. They were after her specifically. Kennedy was the first to ask a question.   
  
"Why her?"   
  
"She is the only one who can protect against the magics they'll be using against us."   
  
"What kind of magics?"   
  
His head turned toward Davis, who immediately kinda regretted asking the question.   
  
"They have enlisted the help of the Trinity."   
  
All three watchers went pale, muttered a curse, or cleaned his glasses.   
  
"Giles what is it?"   
  
He didn't bother to stop rubbing his glasses when Dawn asked her question.   
  
"The Trinity are three beings, very old, very powerful, very evil. No one knows what exactly are, there are myths that they are fallen angels. Some say that they were the three demons ripped strait out of hell."  
  
"They are the latter."   
  
His voice interrupted the slayer and watcher bringing back their attention.   
  
"How do you know?"   
  
The quickness in which his head turned alarmed them, and made Rona, who asked the seemingly innocent question, visibly flinch.   
  
"I know."   
  
The cold, darkness in those words sent a shiver down everyone's spine. But as if nothing happened he continued.   
  
"They are also the only ones powerful enough to do the spell that brings back the first."   
  
"Yes, quite, any word on the specifics of that spell."   
  
Everyone could tell that the demon intimidated Winthrop, but his voice stayed calm and snobbish.   
  
"He said he didn't know."   
  
The watcher gave a chuckle.   
  
"He could have been lying, demons aren't exactly the most trustworthy beings in this universe."   
  
The accusation and insult were evident, but Slice-n-Dice's voice stayed calm.   
  
"He was telling the truth, I was very persuasive."   
  
Some of the potentials went a little green and Winthrop tried to seep into the wall, at the same time trying to keep face. Clearing his throat Giles tried to get everyone back on track.   
  
"Was there any mention of their plan of attack?"   
  
"From what I could get out of him, it sounds like they aren't going to attack us in force yet. Apparently they are of two forces, the followers of the First, and the demons and vampires who want it released. They are going to send the demons here to keep us busy while the followers go eliminate the last possible sources of support."   
  
Everyone stayed silent for a moment. Giles grim voice put the silence to a halt.   
  
"Angel and Faith."   
  
The demons chuckle was almost frightening.   
  
"Wrong, Angelus and Faith."   
  
The scoobies eyes widened comically and the watchers started to murmur to each other. Buffy had to physically hold herself back from doing or saying something stupid. Waiting for her heart to calm she began to think.   
  
"How."   
  
"They seem to be having their own little problems down there and thought that Angelus might have some information. Unfortunately he escaped the cage they had built for him."   
  
Bringing forth the icy determination Buffy decided on her plan.   
  
"Alright this is what we're going to do. Willow and Slice-n-dice will go to L.A. when you get there re-soul Angel, help out if you can, and bring Faith with you on the way back. Patrolling will be doubled, we'll need to get more field time under your belts. Willow, make sure all the protection spell are up and running."   
  
She looked at everyone for a moment, observing their faces, some of them were so scared, but brave all at once. Nodding everyone began to move to their assigned chores. It was then that she noticed Xanders expression, in fact everyone's expression was the same as his. Though oddly enough not Willow or Anya seemed uncomfortable with the idea.   
  
Waving the Scoobies in the dining room and away from the others she walked to the head of the table and looked expectantly at the concerned group.   
  
"What."   
  
"Buffy are you sure that's a good idea?"   
  
"Xander, Willow is probably one of the most powerful witches on the planet, she can take care of herself, especially against the followers."   
  
Xander was about to respond when Giles stopped him.   
  
"I think what he means to say is, are you sure it's safe to be sending Willow alone with, um, Slice and Dice."   
  
The slayer stared at them blankly.   
  
"Yeah I mean what's to stop him from going all postal and eviscerating her in her sleep"   
  
Dawns two cents caused Willow to step in.   
  
"Guys I hate to admit it but I don't think we could stop him even if we tried."   
  
"Not exactly a vote of confidence."   
  
Anya rolled her eyes at Xanders sarcastic comment.   
  
"What she was trying to say is there is nothing holding him back, so if his agenda was to eviscerate any of us he would have done it by now. I like your use of the term Dawn, very nice."   
  
Anyone else saying the last part would probably be perceived as being sarcastic. But to Anya it was a compliment. Shaking the thoughts out of her head Buffy finished it.   
  
"Guys! This guy, for no real reason, is helping us. And right now we need him. I don't need you to trust him. I need you to trust me."   
  
Hesitantly everyone nodded and went to there tasks. Feeling all the energy drained from her the slayer walking into the kitchen and collapsed onto the kitchen stool. She let her head drop into her hands and her body go lax.   
  
It didn't startle her when she heard his voice. Buffy knew he had been in there during the whole conversation.   
  
"Do you really think I'm helping for no reason?"   
  
Not looking up she answered.   
  
"None that I can see."   
  
She still hadn't lifted her head but she could feel a certain sadness surrounding him. Quietly she asked.   
  
"Why do you? Help us I mean."   
  
"What other reason is there for a demon like me."   
  
"Love."   
  
She looked up when she said this.   
  
"Yes, love, because no matter how much I hate it, no matter how much pain it brings me. I'm still it's slave. The woman I loved, she lived for her home and her family. She died for it. I can't let her be insulted like this. If I did, that would mean I failed her when I could have done something. Knowing that would be worst than the hell I've been in."   
  
A sad smile went across her face.   
  
"She must have been lucky, to be loved like that."   
  
"No."   
  
His sad voice surprised her as much as his response did.   
  
"It is a terrible thing for a human to be loved by a demon, all it brings is pain to both of them. It is a curse that I would not place on anyone!"   
  
His voice ended with a whisper, but the emotion behind it literally shook the house. With that he disappeared into the shadows. Leaving a shocked, and shaken Buffy staring at where the demon had once been. A million thoughts ran through her head.   
  
Was he right, is that how it was.   
  
Was that how it had been between her and Angel.   
  
Was that the way it was with Spike?  
  
She didn't notice Alice until she spoke.  
  
"Um, ms. Slayer, sir, um, the rest of us, well the potentials wanted to know. Who's Angel?"  
  
Buffy's head dropped into her hands.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: CHAPTER 10 WAHHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Alright I know it ain't all that exciting. Well I've pushed this story to probably over 20 chapters now that I have the Angel onset.   
  
As you have noticed this chapter is a different kind than the rest. It has almost to past and is all present. I felt that the chapter before it was too much past. So I wrote this one like this to even things out.  
  
As wise Gandhi once said "REVIEW DAMNIT!" I have a friend named Gandhi Robinson. :) 


	11. The way it must be

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Willow couldn't see him, but she knew he was there.   
  
Just outside the light, just outside of her view.   
  
But she felt him. It was interesting, she had gotten used to his presence so much that the sensations he brought no longer overwhelmed her. She knew it must be the same for Buffy.   
  
Buffy.   
  
The red head was sick and tired of feeling torn, or like she was betraying her best friend whenever she and Slice-n-Dice was in the same room. She wanted to tell her friend more than anything, to know that he was still there, alive, that she hadn't killed him.   
  
Her own thoughts surprised her.   
  
Was that the reason?   
  
The little voice in the back of her head said so. She didn't want the blame of his death no longer on her shoulders, especially since he was alive and had been standing not ten feet away from Buffy. Willow had accepted the fact she had killed the vampire, and would have taken the blame without hesitation. But she hadn't killed him.   
  
No you just sent him to a hell dimension for an eternity where he experienced immeasurable pain and suffering. Your lucky he didn't do to you what he did to Chamberlin.   
  
It was that thought stopped her internal rant in it's tracks.   
  
She never really realized what he could have done to her, and anything he did do would have been infinitesimal in comparison to what he had been through. And it was all her fault.  
  
She would keep her promise.   
  
She owed him that.   
  
Drawing on all the courage she had she put her hand on the hotel doors. But before she could even push it open a hand clamped over her mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist, pinning her arms. An all too familiar voice fill her ears.   
  
"Hey Willow, how've you been?"   
  
"MMMHmmfffrmmm"  
  
"Aww I'm hurt. No hello, how are ya, nice to see you? If you're not careful I might start to think you're not happy to see me."   
  
Normally she would be on the verge on either fainting or peeing her pants. But now she was doing her best to keep calm, it was hard because his hand was covering her mouth and nose. Her heart jumped when she felt his face shift against her neck.   
  
"She knows doesn't she, why would she send you if she didn't know. It's going to be fun breaking her after I'm done here. I think using Dawn for a special displkjllkj…"   
  
Angeluses grip suddenly released and she was pushed forward. Falling down she took in huge gulps of air.In the background she could faintly recognized the sound of flesh meeting concrete. She looked up just in time to see Angelus fly through the glass doors of the Hotel.   
  
Stumbling forward she quickly stood and searched for him. But was met with only darkness. Hearing a commotion in the hotel she sadly turned away from the shadows she knew he was hiding. Something had happened. He wasn't usually like this.   
  
Careful of the glass she opened the door and looked at the scene before her. There was a big bald black man was kneeling next to a unconscious angel. There was a mousy woman awkwardly holding what looked like a tranquilizer gun. In that moment a scrubby looking guy came rushing in carrying chains. It took a moment before she recognized him. Once it hit her, the witch's jaw hit the floor. The watcher was the first to notice her. He looked shocked for a minute.   
  
"Willow?"   
  
His voice had changed also, it seemed rougher, had a faint echo of pain. The bald man was obviously waiting for the chains, because when Angel started to twitch and move he jumped.   
  
"Wes!"  
  
It brought him out of his shocked state. They proceeded to chain him up. Once they were done Wes looked in the corner.   
  
"Connor, you and Gunn carry him back into the cage."  
  
She hadn't noticed the teen brooding in the corner. Immediately when she saw him she knew that he was angels son. The sneer was genetic. Who knew? The watcher approached her, awkwardly putting his hands in his pockets.   
  
"Hey Willow. What are you doing here?"   
  
For a second there he sounded like the old Wesley. But the question brought back the situation.   
  
"I was actually sent here to help. There's trouble coming here and with Angel out of commission Buffy thought we could help."   
  
Wesley got that look of recognition in his eye.   
  
"Of course. Send in the only living person to ever re-ensoul Angel."   
  
Willow smiled again and nodded. The mousy woman then chose to walk up and introduce herself.   
  
"Hi I'm Fred, you must be willow I've heard so much about you."   
  
For such a small person she had a lot of energy. Wesleys pensive voice caught her attention.   
  
"Willow. You said we."   
  
The witch jumped a bit when she realized she hadn't told them about her travel buddy, it then hit her, how was she going to tell them about him.   
  
Of course that solved itself when they heard steps coming in from behind them.   
  
When they all turned he was just casually walking around, arms slightly swinging at the movement of his body. He didn't seem to be paying attention to them, looking at something on the second floor. He moved to one of the staircases and stopped.   
  
Time sped back up to normal.   
  
Wesley moved protectively in front of Fred. Connor and Gunn came up from the basement and noticed the demon. Connor immediately ran strait towards the demon. She didn't notice the axe on the floor but he picked it up without slowing down and raised it to strike.   
  
Reacting she was about to shout for him to stop but it was too late.   
  
There wasn't even a blur, his hand was instantly on the axe handle, holding it inches from his head. In another instant Connor was across the room smashing into a pillar with the axe skittering into the corner.   
  
They all stood stunned.   
  
Surprisingly Connor was still conscious and trying to get up. Fred automatically ran to help. The witch saw that Slice-n-Dice wasn't going to finish it, instead he just folded his arms and leaned against the opposite pillar. Her voice cut through the silence.   
  
"Guys meet Slice-n-Dice, he's the other part of the 'we'."   
  
She almost laughed at their expressions when he waved casually. She could see why they were shocked, the amount of power he had just shown gave him a serious dangerous air about him, and for him to wave hello, it just didn't seem possible.   
  
"What is this."   
  
Wesley and Willow looked at the source of the voice. Connor was holding his side and leaning heavily on the small woman at his side. He wasn't happy to say the least..   
  
"He's with me."   
  
His anger was turned to her.   
  
"You brought that in here."   
  
She could feel her temper rising.   
  
"Hey, mister grumpy, he's here to help. But if you would rather face the big bad alone then that's fine with me. It doesn't matter to me whether or not your guts get all over the place."   
  
"We don't need your help."   
  
The arrogance and hate filled his voice. But his intense gaze faltered when he heard the footsteps again. Both Fred and Connor turned to look at the approaching demon. The figure in black stopped about a foot in front of the two. Fred was shivering but to her credit she stood her ground. Connor was warily looking at the demon who just a few minutes ago flung him like he was a doll.   
  
The demon just stood there, his shadowed face staring straight through the angry young man before him. Connor was tense, waiting to strike, itching for a fight. But he was shocked when the demon in front of him merely turned to Gunn who was standing with Wesley and Willow.   
  
"Is he downstairs?"   
  
Gunn just nodded. At this he passed the two and went into the basement. Connor turned a little red from shame as everyone just stood shocked. The silence was brought to an end when a groggy voice brought her out of it.   
  
"Hey what's going on in here. I'm trying to get some sleep. And all ya'll up in here bangin aro..." Faith stopped when she saw the scene before her.   
  
"Hey Faith."   
  
The slayer slowly walked down looking at the beat up Connor and the expressions on each of their faces.  
  
"Hey red, mind tellin me what's going on?"   
  
Connor answered before anyone else could.  
  
"That witch brought a dangerous demon in here."   
  
Faith noticed the angered look Willow gave him and then the look of vengence and hate in his eyes.   
  
"That right red, didn't figure you to be running with that kind of crowd."   
  
"We came here to help."   
  
Connor scoffed.   
  
"Some help."   
  
He pushed away from Fred and limped up the stairs to Cordelias room. Fred then approached Faith.   
  
"He saw the demon and attacked. But he didn't win."   
  
Faith nodded.   
  
"Bruised ego, I got it, so where is this guy?"   
  
Gunn jumped in.   
  
"He went downstairs, I guess to check on Angelus."  
  
"Wait, Angelus is here."   
  
Willow nodded sheepishly.   
  
"He got, kinda thrown through the door while trying to eat ...kill me."   
  
"And I'm guessing our new found Demon bud is to thank."   
  
Willow nodded again. Faith folded her arms while she thought about the situation.   
  
"Alright, as long as he's on our side I don't see a problem. I guess we got Angelus now all we need to find the soul and shove it back up his..."   
  
She stopped when her slayer senses picked up the demons presence.   
  
"I can help with that."   
  
Hesitantly Faith turned towards him and responded.   
  
"You know where it is?"   
  
"No, but I can find it faster than anyone here."   
  
Thinking for a moment.   
  
"Alright."   
  
Instantly his body dissolved into shadows and disappeared. Gunn was the first to speak.   
  
"Okay that guy is majorly creepy."   
  
There was a general agreement, Fred turned to Willow.   
  
"Why do you call him Slice-n-Dice?"   
  
Willow fidgeted for a moment trying to answer.   
  
"I have a feeling that it's better left unsaid."   
  
Willow looked at Faith silently thanking her for cutting in.   
  
"So how ya been Wills, haven't seen you in ages."   
  
"Oh you know, flayed a man alive and tried to destroy the world. The usual."   
  
Faith looked at the witch appreciatively.   
  
"Damn, I'm small cookies compared to you."   
  
The words pulled at her heart but the Witch didn't rise to the bait. Wesley's voice interrupted their little battle of wills.   
  
"Well I thinks it's time we got down to business shall we. Willow, Fred will help you with the spell. Lorne and I will get the supplies ready for when Mr. Slice and Dice reappears."   
  
Willow and Faith were still looking at each other with different levels of disdain, but separated keeping their eyes on each other.   
  
Cordelia was sitting at the round table in the center of the room, looking at the glowing jar in the middle of the table. None of them suspected a thing. They had come close a few times, but she had managed to keep them all in the dark. She smiled, with Angel out of the way no one could stop her from bringing it into this world.   
  
"Pretty little thing isn't it?"   
  
She nearly leaped out of her seat.   
  
"CONNOR!"   
  
The demon laughed.   
  
"He can't here you, and I don't think you want to have to explain that."   
  
She nearly kicked herself, she wouldn't have been able to explain the fact she had Angels soul on the table.   
  
"What do you want?"   
  
Her voice was low and menacing, her power radiating through her words.   
  
"Nothing much, just going to return that to it's owner."   
  
Cordelia's was enraged, but wary, She could feel his power   
  
"What makes you think I'll let you leave this room alive?"   
  
The demon only laughed again.   
  
"Oh come off it, you can't kill me anymore than I can kill you."   
  
She believed it.   
  
"You aren't taking it."   
  
The amusment left the demons frame.  
  
"Yes I am, you see I may not be able to kill you, but one word those people downstairs and your plan goes through the blender."   
  
He began to walk around her, circling like a predator. For the first time since she arrive here she became nervous.   
  
"Then why don't you tell and just take it then."   
  
That stilled his prowl.   
  
"Because I know how this plan of yours ends, I have seen it. And it must be this way, but one thing, whether or not I take it now, Angel will have his soul back."   
  
Cordelias hands were clenched into tight fists. Seeing her fuming he nonchalantly walked towards the door taking the jar with him and disappearing into the shadows. The minute he was gone her fist went through the table.  
  
Fred was in the office getting their copy of the soul spell with Willow when Slice-n-Dice appeared. His sudden appearance caused Fred to scream in surprise and startle Willow. Immediately Faith was at the door ready to fight. He ignored them and looked at Fred.   
  
"Lose something."   
  
He unceremoniously tossed the glowing jar to Fred who frantically tried to catch it without letting it fall. He didn't wait for anything and walked passed the slayer.   
  
"Where was it?"   
  
"In one of the rooms."   
  
Gunn caught that part.   
  
"Wait your telling me that we've been running around all over the place looking for that nightlight and it's been in the building the whole time!"   
  
Faith ignored him.   
  
"Which room." That stopped him and made his head look over his shoulder   
  
"Don't know, I didn't walk in there, just arrived took it and went. Whoever had it though was very powerful and luckily not home at the time."   
  
Running this over in her mind she shook her head.   
  
"Look it doesn't matter right now, we got the thing, now lets get it back to it's owner."  
  
++++  
  
A/N: That was a really hard chapter to write. I don't know why but it was.   
  
Maybe because I'm not used to the characters, or maybe because I have a large amount of disdain for the Angel character. Who Knows.  
  
I'd like to thank a special reviewer for helping me out. Without her I might have ended the chapter early or gone completely insane. But thanks to the reviewer I'm just crazy.  
  
Because this chapter was a difficult one to write it probably is not very good. So please review and tell me what you think and I'll stick to what I write best   
  
BTVS FANFICTION BABAY! (think of Frank Kastanza's voice from Seinfeld.) (I didn't spell that right did I) 


	12. Scars and oil

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Buffy hoped Willow was having more luck than she was.   
  
There were currently fifteen nasties chasing them through the cemetery. This was possibly one of the worst nights this week. And that's saying something considering the week they've had.   
  
It started out innocent enough. Willow along with Tall, dark and creepy went to help in L.A. Training sessions increased, which was good, gave the potentials more practice for patrols, which went twice as long as before. They got another watcher and slayer in training. Jarod Brunswick and his charge Chao Anh.   
  
Jarod was a quiet, tall, muscled Irishman and about 45 years old. He didn't smile, and the only time she heard him laugh was when Chao Anh said something no one could understand. He could understand and speak Taiwanese oddly enough.   
  
Which helped because that's all Chao Anh spoke, though he had told them she did understand English. Because of that it made it increasingly hard to actually judge her character. But from what they could gather she was a little old to be a slayer, eighteen in fact. She started her training when she was sixteen, so her combat skills were better developed than any of the other SIT's but she still lacked the required strength and senses.   
  
Surprisingly Jarod was the easiest to get along with, he took orders well and only questioned them when Chao was put in danger he didn't agree with.   
  
Course Winthrop was still a big pain in the ass. He still went to Giles for planning, but when Giles deferred him to the slayer he would shut up or go talk to Davis. Buffy had a feeling that Winthrop blamed her for Alice's increasing independence and defiance. He looked like he nearly had a heart attack when she questioned one of his orders.   
  
Davis was getting more and more used to taking commands but still buddied up with Winthrop when opposing her.   
  
Rona and Kennedy butted heads more than once, and sparring between the two was banned after the punches and kicks got a little too serious. Chao sparred only with Buffy, with Jarod looking on. The slayer had a feeling that he stood there more to make sure Chao wasn't hurt than to translate. The patrols had gotten better and worse at the same time.   
  
The demon activity had jumped, on average they were fighting five or six demons a night. Not counting the little extras that come along with it. They defeated a demon raising group of jocks, a really gross Hannibal Lector demon, and a slug demon that Halfrek turned a bad boyfriend into. It took a lot to get the vengeance demon to reverse it, but not before Kennedy accidentally impaled the man. That was after Buffy had shouted for her to stop. Luckily the guy didn't die, but Kennedy learned from then on to follow orders.   
  
Anya and Xander moved in after they were attacked on their way home. All of them agreed that they needed to stay together for safety's sake. It also meant they had a handyman in a house that needed almost constant attention.   
  
They hadn't heard from Willow in awhile. If what Slice-n-Dice said was true, then the L.A. gang was getting it worse than they were.   
  
Course right now she couldn't see how.   
  
Tonight was the worse. Everything was fine until they began to patrol. Winthrop, Anya and Dawn stayed behind to research whatever there was left to research. Dawn protested of course. It led to a fight which ended with the flipping of brown hair and a slamming of a door.   
  
They hit a nest of vamps, and after twenty minutes they were down to the last two. They hadn't noticed the fight had moved them deeper and deeper into the cemetery until they were surrounded.   
  
Which led them to their current situation, battered and bruised, running for their lives.   
  
They were running as fast as they could but some of them were too slow. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a vamp about to pounce on Alice. Quicker than humanly possible she changed her direction.   
  
"Down!"   
  
Alice quickly ducked as Buffy jump-kicked the vamp behind her sending him flying into the tombstone. Problem was she had stopped running and now was surrounded.   
  
"Buffy!"   
  
Giles and Xander quickly tackled two vamps that were about to strike at the slayer.   
  
"Jarod go! Get them out of here!"   
  
The watcher hesitated for a moment before leading everyone back. They began fighting with all the strength they had left in them. Which wasn't much considering how long they've been running.   
  
They managed to dust five vampires and kill at least two demons before one grabbed Xander. No one could get to him but before the vamp could take a taste he turned into dust allowing the carpenter to fall to the ground. The dust settled revealing a smirking Faith.   
  
"Hey B. better be careful, he's liable to break if not taken care of."  
  
"Faith, less quipping and more staking."   
  
It took twenty minutes, but they were able to end it with a final twist of the neck.   
  
Winded Buffy spoke.   
  
"So Faith, how ya been, kill anybody lately."   
  
"Oh nothing much, jail was a picnic and I buried the bodies in the backyard so I'm good. How bout you?"   
  
"Nothing much, hellmouth, army of demons, everyone trying to kill me, the usual."   
  
"As much as I'd like this conversation to go on, I think it's time we get back to the house."   
  
The tone of his voice was suggestive and noticing he wasn't looking at either of them they turned to see what he was backing away from. There were over twenty assorted demons and vampires slowly walking towards them. Without breaking a beat they were off.   
  
As they were running Buffy asked.   
  
"Where's Willow?!"   
  
"She and that weird creepy guy she came with are at the house, they told me to look for you, got some info or something."   
  
They ran as fast as they could keeping Giles and Xander with them. They didn't stop until they were just outside the house. When they got there she saw dawn looking worriedly out the door. What Buffy didn't notice was the confused look on her sisters face.   
  
"Dawn get inside!"   
  
Dawn tried to speak but was interrupted by them barreling through the door. Buffy and Faith slammed it shut. Panting she yelled out.   
  
"WILLOW! SLICE-N-DICE! We're going to need you!"   
  
The four collapsed in a heap on the floor, the two slayers leaning against the door. Willow hurriedly entered the hallway.   
  
"Buffy what's going on."   
  
Xanders panting answered.   
  
"Demons, lots demons."   
  
Buffy and Faith nodded but Dawns voice brought their attention to her.   
  
"Um guys, what demons?"   
  
Bewildered Faith waved her hand at her.   
  
"The twenty demons that just chased our asses up here."   
  
It was then that Buffy heard a humming coming from outside. Getting up they both turned towards the door. The blond put her hand on the handle and began to turn.   
  
"B. what are you doin, they could be waiting."   
  
Without a second look she opened the door. There wasn't a demon or vampire in sight. Well except for one.   
  
Walking casually in the moonlight Slice-n-Dice was wiping an axe. The axe itself was covered in blood. Not sparing a glance at either as he passed them he walked into the house. She noticed he was dripping some kind of black oil onto the wood from his hand and was limping. When he passed Willow she almost didn't catch the whisper.   
  
"First aid kit."   
  
Willow tried to hide the fact she heard it but not to well. Quickly the witch exited and headed for the bathroom. Faith turned to her.   
  
"What's the deal with that guy?"   
  
Buffy didn't look at her when she spoke. Willow didn't come down with the kit, which meant he had somehow gotten upstairs.   
  
"I don't know, but I know who does. And she ain't telling."   
  
Finally turning to face her she looked at the newly freed prisoner.   
  
"So how was L.A."   
  
Faith smirked at the obvious hidden question.   
  
"He's fine B. A bit broodier than last I saw him, but comes with the territory."   
  
Smiling at her obviousness, she lowered her head and nodded. She turned and started toward the kitchen with Faith behind her following.   
  
"How was it up there?"   
  
"Bad, like I want to sleep for a week bad. I don't think I've fought that much since grade school."   
  
Faith settled onto the kitchen stool while Buffy went into the cupboards unconsciously getting ready for hot cocoa. From what they could hear the rest of the group was in the living room talking about everything and nothing. When Faith had hesitantly accepted the cup Buffy herself sat down and started drinking. Faith broke the silence between them.   
  
"I gotta say B. things certainly have changed since I've been here last. I mean, red gay and going postal. Xand getting a girl and almost gettin hitched. You dying again. I'm starting to think that I'm the only one who hasn't changed. And what's this I hear about you hookin up with another vamp?"   
  
Faith noticed the grimace and regretted what she said.   
  
"That's a whole soap opera that I really don't want to open up right now. Lets just say that there was a lot of pain, and a lot of it was because of me."   
  
Faith was about to comment about it but kept her mouth shut. The silence stretched for a moment before Buffy spoke.   
  
"So I'm guessing since your down here the big slam is coming down on us?"   
  
Faith her cup.   
  
"Yeah, that's what mysterio said. Think they decided not to waste time and go for the big tamale."   
  
Buffy's voice was quiet and sad.   
  
"It's just going to get worse. Harder."   
  
"Yeah well if there was ever a place to be when things go down, right here is fine with me. Besides we got two slayers, worlds most powerful witch and a demon who can cut through twenty demons and come out with just a scratch."   
  
Buffy huffed a laugh.   
  
"I've never actually seen him fight."   
  
"Me neither, and I'm perfectly fine with that."   
  
Buffy stopped for a moment.   
  
"You're wrong Faith, you have changed."   
  
Faith would have been skeptical about such a complement, if it weren't for the smile that lit Buffy's face.   
  
"Right so where's a good place to crash?"   
  
"I think I can set you up with something."   
  
Smiling again they traveled upstairs. She gave her the bed in her moms room which they shared with Willow. Who was already asleep. On the way back she stopped, the bathroom door was slightly open. Through it she heard quiet growling, so low that only she and faith could have possibly heard it.   
  
Looking through it she saw something that made her breath hitch. His arm was exposed and gripping the sink as he stitched the gaping wound on the side. His arm was grey. All over itwere white strips and blotches. There were so many, some overlapping, some faded, some sharp and clear.   
  
She realized that they were scars.   
  
Thousands and thousands of scars.   
  
The skin itself looked like it had been stretched over steel wire ropes all wrapped up to make his arm. With all that, the real reason her caught was that instead of red blood coming out of the gash in his arm thick black oil oozed out.   
  
She suddenly noticed he had stopped stitching and staring her. For a moment she saw the shine of his eyes. Quickly she turned and walked to the staircase. Wiping her eyes she remembered the last time she saw scars and black blood.   
  
The slayer jumped when she heard the phone ring. It was quickly silenced when Dawn answered the phone.   
  
"Buffy it's for you!"   
  
Walking down she made sure they couldn't tell she almost broke down. The phone had been placed on the counter top, so she had no idea who it was.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Hey Buffy."   
  
"Cordelia?"   
  
She was shocked, they hadn't spoken in a long time.   
  
"Yeah long time no see, or hear as it is the case."   
  
Waiting for something Buffy felt awkward. How could you feel awkward over the phone.   
  
"So, why exactly are you calling. Something happen?"   
  
She grimaced as she heard the fear in her voice. But that was quickly put away when she heard the annoyed sigh at the other end.   
  
"Listen there's something I need to tell you. Something about your new found friend."  
  
++++  
  
A/N: DA DA DAAAAAAA! What's going to happen next. Is it what everyone thinks, or is she just going to talk about the weather or how much of a big ho she is (Cause having sex with connor. Bleh!)  
  
It took me awhile to write this, why BECAUSE ONLY TWO PEOPLE REVIEWED!   
  
Thank you to those people.   
  
TO THOSE WHO READ THIS AND DIDN"T REVIEW I NEED THESE!   
  
I write off the high I get when people review. It helps a lot to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong so please. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IT HOLY REVIEW!  
  
I know that it's badgering, but it's also the only reason I write, is to see the reaction and try to improve on it. 


	13. Running away from debriefing

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
//she was stumbling through the cemetery, she could feel the light pink the sky as the sun rose.  
  
Her whole body hurt.  
  
The blood seemed to seep from a hundred different places, all sending pain through her.  
  
She needed to get to the top of the hill, before they stopped her.  
  
It was the right thing, she knew it, but it hurt so much.  
  
Finally stopping at the hills peak she fell against the tree and slid down into a sitting position.  
  
She almost passed out from the blood loss. But she had to stay focused.  
  
She was going to make everything right. For once in her whole existence she was going to do something right.  
  
Using the last bit of strength she squared her shoulders and pulled down the hood covering her face from the world and gazed at the last sunrise she ever would see.   
  
Blue and white flame engulfed her the moment the light hit her body//  
  
Willow woke up with a start. Her eyes looked around expecting to see the sun rising, and it's rays burning her away. All she was met with was darkness.  
  
The dreams were getting clearer, stronger.  
  
She had had the first one the night they restored Angel's soul. It was interesting to say the least. The spell had gone off without a hitch, except when they went to go check on him they saw something they hadn't expected. Slice-n-Dice holding a struggling Connor by the neck four inches off the floor. Faith was about to attack when Angel yelled for her to stop.   
  
It was then that they noticed that Gunn was unconscious and there was a stake lying on the floor.   
  
Gunn proceeded, after waking up with a headache, to fill them in. Apparently Connor had the intention of finishing Angelus once and for all. That was the reason he gave, but willow could sense something, something darker, stirring in the hotel.  
  
But she couldn't put her finger on it.  
  
That was the night she had the dream, just the sun rising and blue flame. Each night after the dream would become longer, clearer. She didn't have any idea what it meant, or if it meant anything at all.  
  
Everyone was filled in about the situation and in true form Angel offered to come down and help out. Willow wasn't sure but before she could say anything Slice-n-Dice said that even when the Followers leave to attack Sunnydale they'll still be under attack, and if they weren't there to fight then LA would be lost. That answered the question.  
  
The witch could see the recognition flash through Angels face, and for a good long minute he stared at the black clothed demon. She knew Slice-n-Dice saw this and understood. But to his credit he said nothing and didn't show reaction. When they got Angel out of his daze her heart had jumped, for a moment she wondered whether he would spill everything, but luckily he was all business.  
  
After the meeting was done she remembered looking for the dark demon, but found no one. She had been so engrossed in her search that she started when Angel called her name. She knew the conversation was coming, and in the end she left Angel sitting in his chair, his face closed like a stone door, The swirling emotions behind his eyes barely held back..   
  
She didn't know whether Angel had tried to speak to his former childe, if he had he gave no mention of it.  
  
The next few days were filled with attacking, defending, scouting and hunting. And things didn't cool down for a second.  
  
One minute they're attacking a Bringer armory, the next they're being chased by a horde of them. Wesley had spent a good hour looking through his books to find the name `Bringer'.  
  
They fought every day, again and again.  
  
The bandaged gash on her arm was definitely going to scar. She accidentally caught a `bringer knife to the shoulder when they were ambushed.  
  
They fought for four days, bringer, sorcerer, demented college professors ect.  
  
ON the whole the battle was put to a stalemate. They would attack and be fought off, the bringers would attack and they would be slaughtered. It would go back and forth for what seemed like forever.. She didn't want to think what it would have been like if Slice-n-Dice hadn't been there to cut them down.  
  
She had begun to worry about him, more than once he had come in with a cut, or limp. He never said anything, but she feared the worst. The only thing she could could think of was that sinse his body was no longer being soaked with dark energy, his supply was drying up, becoming weaker. She feared what might happen when the dark energy was gone.  
  
What she did know was that each day he was becoming more and more like the Spike they knew, not cocky and arrogant, but his movements started to be more and more recognizable, his voice showed the most change.  
  
No one else recognized it other than Angel.  
  
Angel himself was a bit more broody than usual, and who could blame him.  
  
Cordy and Connor? Bleh.  
  
Cordy and Connor having a baby? Vomit worthy.  
  
The last two days they stopped being attacked and their attempts to find Bringers were less and less successful. Slice-n-Dice informed them later that the Followers moved on to attack Sunnydale. So with a quick kiss and hug they set out.  
  
On the way back she filled Faith in about what had been going on with Buffy and the gang., which seemed weird because she had spent the last week with the slayer, but never got the chance to explain everything. The two themselves had gotten closer during that week, quickly forgetting the bad blood between them. Willow explained everything, well except about Slice-n-Dice. And any questions about the demon were quickly headed off.   
  
Willow had been a bit surprised when the door opened to reveal a tall redheaded Irishman.  
  
And in true style Faith immediately went into horn dog mode.   
  
The Irishman, who they learned was a watcher named Jarod, showed them in while ignoring a sultry Faith who was being very suggestive and provocative that even the witch had a passing thought about the slayers mouth talents.  
  
Introductions were made and Giles suggested they debrief each other. The witch had to physically stop herself from screaming.   
  
She'd been driving for hours and fought almost constantly for a week. The very last thing she wanted to do was repeat everything. She tried to used Buffy's absence as an excuse but Giles just sent Faith to get her. So grinding her teeth she recounted everything. Well almost everything. Giles filled her in on what had been happening there, and willow had to raise her eyebrows in surprise.  
  
They had been busy.  
  
After getting the First aid kit for the bleeding demon, the bed was too tempting of an invitation. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.  
  
Getting out of bed she noticed the close she had fallen asleep in were now thoroughly wrinkled and disheveled. A bit groggy and disoriented she opened the door out of the room and into the hall. She noticed the cracked open bathroom but did not investigate, she knew who was in there.   
  
Walking down the stairs she could hear the voices in the living room, Giles debriefing the rest of the group. Wanting to get some food first before she got involved in the war planning again she bypassed the living room and straight to the kitchen.  
  
The witch made it three feet passed the kitchen door before she was pinned by the angry stare of her best friend.  
  
Willow froze, like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. Willow took a good look at her friend's face. Her eyes were tearing up. She could tell the slayer was keeper her jaw set to keep her lip from quivering. But it wasn't that that kept her feet planted in their spots. Buffy's eyes held a rage that only her friends saw, and not often. She looked like she was a second away from either screaming in rage, or breaking down into sobs.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Her voice was thick, holding back a hundred different emotions.  
  
"What?"  
  
"All this time and it was him"  
  
It didn't seem like the slayer was hearing what her friend was saying, but willow tried anyway.  
  
"Buffy what's wrong."  
  
"After everything, and you didn't tell me he was alive."   
  
Something clicked in willows mind //she knows// The witches eyes widened.  
  
This was bad.  
  
"You knew, even after you watched me_.you knew and you didn't tell me."  
  
Both of them were fighting the many emotions threatening to spill out.  
  
"Buffy, he. He asked me not to tell anyone."  
  
That obviously was the wrong answer, cause the rage in Buffy's face was released. The slayer began to walk forward, not caring if anyone heard.  
  
"So that's it huh, he asks you, and suddenly that's it! Our friendship, any responsibility to me gone! Even after I gave my trust to you again, even after all you've done!"  
  
Buffy punctuated the by giving Willow a light, but firm push. Willow knew that the yelling was alerting the others but anger now boiled in the witches blood, and a mean hate that only known once before, infected her voice.  
  
"What were you going to Buffy, huh! Tell him you love him, tell him your sorry. Tell him all the things you should have when it might have mattered!"  
  
She hated the taste of her own words, and the anger slightly dimmed when she saw the tears that had been building in the slayers eyes fall. But she drove on.  
  
"Listen, I know that I have a lot to apologize and be forgiven for. But Buffy_"   
  
The witch paused, trying to get control, trying to be able to say the words that needed saying. Buffy was holding on to her rage with all she had, but failing miserably.  
  
"I sent him to hell. I killed him, and I did all this, what's happening now is because of me. I feel it every day."  
  
With each word Willow calmed and reigned in her anger. And with each word Buffy's grip keeping her anger with her lessoned.  
  
"He deserves to, more than anyone, to make me pay, for what I did to him. But for some reason he forgave me, just like that he forgave me, after everything. And if he could do that then yeah I would keep a secret. So yes, it's above you, our friendship, my responsibility to you. Even after everything I've done."   
  
She spat the last words. Buffy had supposedly forgiven her, obviously that wasn't the case. Buffy flinched at her words brought back to her. Bowing her head she spoke.  
  
"I'm sorry. I have forgiven you Will, for everything. It's just_"   
  
She could feel more tears welling up, staring to her right, not meeting her friends eyes.  
  
"I missed him, and I thought I was moving on, and now to have all this, and then him."  
  
"Buffy I wanted to tell you, Every day. But each time I remember, I remember where I sent him, the place that sometimes wakes me up at night screaming. I remember that and I remember he spent an eternity there. Because of me."  
  
Buffy finally met Willows eyes. Without a word The both smoothly hugged each other. The only noise a occasional sniffle as they cried silently.. The quiet was broken after what seemed like an eternity.   
  
"Why."  
  
They separated , arms still around each other. Willow looked in Buffy's eyes, asking a silent question.   
  
"Why didn't he want me to know?"   
  
The tears were rising in her voice, and immediately she was being hugged by the witch. Whispering her answer.  
  
"I don't know Buffy. I don't know. But I think you need to ask him yourself."  
  
Buffy pulled out of her arms a look of fright in her eyes. But Willow had already put on her resolve face.  
  
"Buffy, he's here, now, alive. Don't waste this chance".  
  
Putting on her own resolve face and nodded.  
  
"Thanks Will."  
  
Willow relaxed with a huff. Finally letting her smile show through. The wieght of her secret was lifting off her shoulders. Buffy was almost out the door when Willow stopped her.  
  
"Buffy. Tell him. Tell him, before it's too late."   
  
The slayer didn't turn but paused for a little while. Then out the door, leaving willow in the living room smiling. So engrossed that she hadn't noticed a stern face Watcher and friends behind her standing in the doorway.  
  
"Willow."  
  
The voice startled her and she turned, smile still in place.  
  
"I think there's something you need to tell us."  
  
Her smile faded.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: HA HA! I'M BAAAAAAAACK!  
  
I know this chapter isn't really new, but it is a revision. I got some advise that I agreed with, this chapter fizzled.   
  
So I changed it, reBuilt it, made it faster, stronger, it is THE MILLION DOLLAR CHAPTER!   
  
Sorry  
  
Anyway I hope this adds some meat, and if you like it tell me for the love of PETE! 


	14. Irony is a bitch

Title: Demons from the past  
  
Rating:PG-13  
  
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!  
  
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.  
  
++++  
  
Walking through the cemetery seemed to be one of the most difficult things she's had to do. That's saying something knowing what she's had to face.   
  
Each step brought the slayer closer toward some nameless thing that terrified her. Something, or someone she never really knew how to deal with. One moment he's your enemy, next he's taking a beating for you.   
  
And it always scared her, not knowing how to deal with things. That's what her life was built around, deal with things, dealing with evil, fighting until she won. But face her with something she can't fight, define or deal with, that scared her like nothing else.   
  
Like right now.   
  
That's right, she was scared out of her mind. So much that she had to force every step, fighting her instinct to turn and run. She didn't want to be here, didn't want to be doing this, taking this long walk. Hellgod, giant demon snake, hormonal sisters, anything but this.   
  
It was completely ridiculous, she could face things that would make any grown man cry, but actually have a real conversation with someone, especially with Spike, that seemed beyond her.   
  
Spike.   
  
She couldn't even fathom it. The fact the creature that she was searching for now, was the cocky vamp she knew and lo…loathed. It didn't seem possible. But she guessed an eternity in hell would do that to a person.   
  
Her brain blocked her grasp of the meaning behind it, being in hell. She couldn't imagine it, or didn't want to. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes. Which was strange, she was almost weeping for a vampire. Buffy couldn't do that though, sum him up as just some vamp. He was more, he meant more to her.   
  
But how much?   
  
She smiled sadly, after everything, she still couldn't put them into terms. What she felt, what she wanted. It didn't seem right, It had been easy before. After their first kiss she knew she loved Angel and said it out loud, even after he left. She discovered her love for Riley and admitted it easily, even if he didn't believe it.   
  
But with Spike, she couldn't even comprehend it. Just thinking about it made her confused. Could she do it, love a demon, someone who killed far more than a century.   
  
The devils advocate in her head brought Angel up. //But he had a soul, he felt remorse for what he did, and was forgiven.//   
  
That didn't deter the opposing voice. //But Angel didn't kill anyone, Angelus did. Angel feels guilty, not Angelus.//  
  
Buffy stopped for a moment remembering that night she felt everything Spike went through the day he left. //Spike got his soul because he felt guilty for what he'd done. The demon had sought to be what she deserved.//  
  
But what did she deserve?   
  
Shaking the thoughts out of her head she tried to focus, forcing herself to move forward again. Why was it so hard, why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't she just love him?   
  
Her thoughts stopped her again. Buffy stood in shock for a moment as she realized what she just thought. Her mantra had gone from 'why could I just get a normal guy' to 'why can't I just love him'.   
  
Forcing herself to move forward again, long hard steps to go along with the intensity of her thoughts. //She knew why she couldn't, she's the slayer, it would go against everything she is and everything she believed.//   
  
Buffy's faced scrunched as she felt the thinness of the argument. //Since when did love have to do with duty or beliefs.// For the first time she really started to see how Spike loved, without restraint, without boundary or condition. Not caring who she was or what he was.   
  
Buffy slowed her walking, softening her footfalls as the thought washed over her. Finally really understanding what he meant. He truly was loves bitch, he would do whatever it commanded, bend to it's will, accept it's pain and joy. It would tear him from the inside out and all he would do is embrace it. Angel left because he couldn't see their future with the obstacles in their way, Riley left because he couldn't accept the love she was willing to give. Spike was a completely different animal all together, he took what she gave, love, pain, anything and everything.   
  
Was that what really scared her? If she loved like he did, would she lose herself in him. Would she cease to be Buffy and be content to just be his.   
  
The slayer almost stumbled when she felt his faint presence. From the looks of where she was in the cemetery he was in the same place she found him last time.   
  
What was she going to say, "hey found out who you were, real sorry for everything. I have feelings for you even though you're a demon and I don't know what to do."   
  
Buffy followed her senses until she caught sight of his for sitting on the same tombstone with his back to her. She froze and things stilled.   
  
Everything from the last few months came rushing into her mind, and she almost slapped her forehead. How could she not see it. But it was clear that she didn't want to see it. To see the possibility that he could change so much. Into something filled with so much pain and anger.   
  
As she drew closer she heard him humming the same song as last time, only now she finally recognized it. That night, so long ago, Willow was catatonic, and they were getting nowhere with the research. She had walked in on him, or rather, his body making the huge mural that temporarily cost her the life of her sister. She had been so stunned, but somehow she remembered the tune he had been humming as he used his blood to burn the mural into the stone.   
  
He was singing the same song now. It's words carrying the heartbreak to her ears. Before she knew it she was three feet away from him.   
  
"…how could you use a fair maiden so."   
  
The stillness settled in making the cemetery seem more dead than ever. Unable to think of anything else she spoke.   
  
"Hey Spike."   
  
Buffy almost jumped at his reaction. She could see every muscle pull into tension, but he didn't move. Seeing that he wasn't going to say anything she sighed and moved to sit the next tombstone over. The cemetery noises, crickets and the rustle of leaves slowly stilled as if eager to listen in on the upcoming conversation. He was the first to speak, his voice just a whisper, but seemed to vibrate everything around them.   
  
"How?"   
  
His first words seemed only to call on an anger hidden deep within the slayer.   
  
"Does it matter?"   
  
It silenced him, but she could slowly start to feel the anger slide off him. Looking up in front of him he answered.   
  
"You're right it doesn't."   
  
He got up and began to walk away. Stunned of his unresponsiveness she jumped and nearly sprinted to catch up. Her desperation fueling her angered words.   
  
"What no hello. How ya been. What's new?"   
  
Not slowing down she opted to grab his arm and stop him. But before she could his cold hand was rapped around her throat, his voice still a whisper but the anger in it was easy to recognize.   
  
"What do you want from me?"   
  
Her smile was angry, she had gotten a reaction. When he let go she pushed away. breathing hard Buffy spoke.   
  
"Oh nothing, just wanted to shoot the breeze, talk about good old times. Like the time you killed my sister, or how about turning my best friend into a catatonic mess. Or everyone's favorite, how about the time you tried to rape me."   
  
She knew they were hollow words, but she used them, trying to get that cocky, angry vamp to come out. He just stood there. Not getting anything she continued.   
  
"Nothing, I'm hurt. No 'I'm sorry', 'please forgive me'. Telling me how much a bitch I am, how much you hate me, how much you love me. Are you even him!"   
  
She was shaking with each word, the anger pulsing through her. He on the other hand stood still as a statue. The anger leaked out of her when her words did nothing. Tears began to well in her eyes.   
  
"Are you still the one who tried to kill me, who kissed me, made me feel alive. Is he still in there?"   
  
Her voice was weak and shaky from the tears sliding down her cheeks. She had wanted to know that he was still there, that some of him had been left. But he did nothing. His voice caught her off guard.   
  
"You done?"   
  
The coldness in it made her defeat seem final. Taking her silence as an answer he began.   
  
"No."   
  
It was like the word had been set in stone.   
  
"I'm still the one who tried to kill you, who kissed you, who made you feel alive. Only a eternity older if not wiser. So, no, I am not that him anymore."   
  
The slayer couldn't think of anything to say to that.   
  
"Do you still love me?"   
  
If there was any way to describe his posture it would be surprised, but his voice hadn't changed.   
  
"Yes I still love you. I thought that was painfully obvious. Even when I didn't even know my own name I knew that I loved you."   
  
She could feel the anger start to rise off the words. Punctuating the last word he turned and began to stalk off again. But her desperate voice stopped him in his tracts.   
  
"Then why?"   
  
The calculated slowness which he turned to face Buffy made the fear rise in her chest. The quiet rage behind his voice didn't help either.   
  
"What?"   
  
Pulling up her courage she ventured the question again.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me who you were?"   
  
There was absolutely no sound throughout the whole of the cemetery. And for a moment she could almost feel the rage ripple through the air.   
  
"How dare you."   
  
It was the first time since he arrived that she could actually hear the emotion effect his voice.   
  
"How dare you!"   
  
His hand suddenly went through the nearby tombstone, shattering it like glass. This wasn't exactly the reaction she had been expecting. Slowly he advanced on her.   
  
"How dare you ask me why, after everything, everything that's been said and done. You have the gall to ask me possibly the stupidest question I've ever heard pass from your lips."   
  
Backing her up against a tree. The insult didn't even call up the anger that would have jumped out she was so shocked.   
  
"But since you don't seem to be grasping the obvious today I'll tell you. You want to know why I didn't tell you. Why I didn't tell all of you."   
  
He was pacing, his voice deep and dark. He stopped and seemed to stare straight through her when the next words were uttered.   
  
"Because I don't trust you."   
  
Her fear addled mind cleared at that.   
  
"What?"   
  
He began closing the distance between them.   
  
"Too many times, I thought I earned it, yours or theirs, too many times I thought I earned trust. And just as many times I've had that illusion shattered with a word, or a fist."   
  
His shadow covered face was a mere few inches in front of hers when he finished. The direction of the last word wasn't lost on her. His voice suddenly became smooth and the hate behind it could be clearly heard.   
  
"I remember the first words that came out of Harris's mouth after you were brought back. He warned me not to start my obsession with you again. That was after I had saved the watchers hide that very night. That was after the countless times I saved all their lives. I thought they trusted me. Why wouldn't I. They let me comfort Dawn, let her cry into my shoulder. But within a minute I was back to being a disgusting creature. Then I realized they let her cry into my shoulder because they didn't want to deal with it. Because they didn't have the time to consol a broken teenager, so they left it to the evil demon."   
  
His darkened face that for some reason she could not make out clearly got closer.   
  
"They used me. And when they were done, they threw me away. Sound familiar?"   
  
He turned away and walked a few feet before stopping.   
  
"It didn't matter that I had fought for five months by their side. It didn't matter I helped them for no real reason. It didn't matter how much good I did. I was in the end just a demon. Unable to feel anything real. It didn't matter to them, It didn't matter to you."   
  
He turned to her again.   
  
"So don't ask me why. Not when you know exactly what everyone would say if they knew."   
  
Pushing the words past her throat.   
  
"But you trusted Willow…"   
  
"She kept the secret out of guilt, nothing more."   
  
His interruption silenced her. She knew he was right. But they weren't unjustified. Quietly she started.   
  
"Spike, you're right, we all used you, I used you. But you can't blame us for not trusting you. Because it's true, in the end you are a demon."   
  
She had to force the words, but she believed them. They couldn't trust him because they always knew that he would one day betray them.   
  
"And thus I didn't deserve it?"   
  
Looking him where she thought his eyes were, trying to convey her honesty.   
  
"You would have betrayed us sooner or later, so no you didn't."   
  
His laugh made her falter for a moment.   
  
"You're right, in the end I am a demon, so theirs always the chance I would betray you, so thus I didn't deserve it."   
  
She was pinned by his gaze, not moving from the tree behind her, it's bark scratching her back. He was closing the distance again.   
  
"But then which one of you deserves the trust you give each other."   
  
He placed a hand at each side of her head, leaning against the tree.   
  
"The watcher, who leaves you when you need him the most. Betraying you on more than one occasion. Dawn, putting you all in more danger than she's worth. Tara, nearly killing you all with her spell. Xander summoning a demon that killed a unknown number of people. Willow, well, we all know what Willow's done. And you, putting them all in danger every day. So yeah, I don't deserve your trust, but neither do any of you."   
  
Almost on instinct she retorted.   
  
"But you're a demon."   
  
She cringed at the weakness behind it.   
  
"Yeah your right."   
  
He stood still for a moment.  
  
"So it doesn't matter if you hit me, abuse me, use me. Doesn't matter if you rip out my heart with words. I'm dead inside remember, I can't feel anything real. No good in me RIGHT!"   
  
He shouted the last word that almost felt like it caused the earth to tremble. It resonating with the words that struck her, showing her the false truth to her words. They all used it as a way to justify what they had done to him.   
  
"You trust each other because you love and care about each other. But me, I'm just a demon. Not capable of true feelings or doing good..."   
  
Her whisper was the one this time to stop him.   
  
"I know that's not true. I know your love is real now."   
  
He seemed to deflate a bit.   
  
"I'm sorry"   
  
That caused his head to jerk a bit.   
  
"I'm sorry I didn't see it, I didn't want to believe it. It meant that if you could love me, then Angelus could to."   
  
His voice and breathing calmed a bit.   
  
"Buffy you have to understand, no matter how much they are alike Angel and Angelus are not linked. I know, Angelus may have all of Angels memories, but he is not Angel. No more than Spike was William."   
  
Buffy leaned against the tree, wearing a smile of pain and just looked down nodding. No longer bothered with his closeness and no longer feeling threatened. The slayer let the words wash over her, feeling a hidden knot inside her release, and the soothing stretch after years of being tied.   
  
"I was telling the truth, I couldn't love you because I couldn't trust you."   
  
He bowed his head nodding.   
  
"But I trust you now."  
  
His head shot up at that. For a long moment they stared at each other.   
  
"I…"   
  
"Don't"   
  
It was a weak plea that echoed in the air stopping her. Not taking any head she pushed on.   
  
"I'm trying to say that I…"   
  
He pushed away from her starting to walk away, but as if he couldn't make up his mind he turned again to face her.   
  
"DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME! Don't you make everything I've done, everything I've fought for, suffered for because of my love for you worthless by lying to me like that!"   
  
He chose that moment to try and end the conversation by walking away but she wasn't done. Buffy yelled after him her anger renewed.   
  
"Who the hell do you think you are! Telling me not to tell you how I feel. How I could feel if you let me!"   
  
He whirled around and angrily stomped back to her.   
  
"Alright then you tell me right now that if he came back, wanting to be with you. Soul permanent or not, wanting to love you unconditionally. Tell me that you wouldn't be in his arms in a second!"   
  
He was pointing at her with a clawed hand. Buffy's eyes widened at the realization.   
  
"So this is what this is all about, feeling second to ANGEL!"   
  
They faced off, each in the others face.   
  
"No this is about who you are in love with, who you want to be with. And I know for a fact that it isn't with anyone but him!"   
  
She was about to speak but he cut her off again. His voice defeated.   
  
"You can't tell me that you wouldn't because you know somewhere in your heart there's sixteen year old girl still hopes that he'll come back and want to be with you."   
  
It silenced her, his words joining the rest in ringing true. He began walking away again, this time without her following. He slowed again and turned slightly so she could see the void the darkness left to shroud his face.   
  
"I said once that If I couldn't have al of you then I don't want you to be with me. And it still goes. I love all of you, and I can't believe you might… not when part of you is waiting for something that will never come."  
  
He stared at her for a moment before turning and continuing the walk. Desperate she yelled after him.  
  
"SPIKE!"   
  
He didn't slow and soon was engulfed by the night. Angrily she tried to wipe the tears from her face, but in vain, because she hadn't noticed she was sobbing. Stomping away in the direction of home, the slayer nearly broke when she realized.   
  
He doesn't believe her love for him was real.  
  
Irony.  
  
++++  
  
A/N: THAT WAS THE LONGES F**KING CHAPTER YET!  
  
I hope you all like this chapter, if you don't well you can kiss my a** (Damn ff.net censors) I spent the last week on this chapter because I didn't want to just rush through it.   
  
And now for the thank you's. Thank you to my readers, especially to jwood and Aeneas.   
  
I command you to read Aeneas's stuff, wonderful writing.  
  
I also command that you review and read all my favorite storis and all my favorite authors. GO NOW.  
  
In closing, It looks like I'll be doing a chapter about every weekend so that's what to expect.  
  
REVIEW DAMNIT! 


	15. Secrets that should have stayed secrets

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

----

There have been very few times when Willow ever wished to have her old powers back. Don't get her wrong she loves her method now, makes her feel in control. But when you've had the habit of solving problems, fixing things with a flick of the wrist, exploring and researching a spell can be made out to be the most tedious thing in existence. Those moments have been fewer and far between.

But that's not what Willow wants now. What she's feeling now has been building up lately, with everything that's been going on, the death, fighting and anger. All of it slowly stripping the control away, she's been feeling that old hate. The silky voice she heard in her head when she lost herself in the magic.

Telling her to make the world burn.

More and more lately it's been gaining purchase. The number of times Willow felt it can be counted on one hand. But that mere fact terrifies her, and deep down, excites her as well.

This is one of those moments. She can feel it in her chest. That whisper in the back of her head telling her to make Xanders head explode, cause if she hears him use the argument "but it's spike" again there's going to be a bit of him on all of them.

"but it's Sp.."

"Xander please, we've all heard you. We understand that it's Spike. Now sit down before someone makes you."

Willow mentally breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Giles for keeping her from making the walls a new color. After Buffy left they had wasted no time in rooting Slice-n-Dice's identity out from her. After that she hadn't been able to say a word. Not for a lack of trying though. She watched with a strange detached fascination when she confirmed their suspicions the room broke into pandemonium.

The moment the redhead uttered the words "Yes it's Spike" Xander started talking in his "squeaky tirade" voice.

Goddess she hated that voice.

Giles had had enough when Xan started talking about hunting him down before he could hurt anyone.

Course while he was trying to take hold of the situation the Watchers, especially Winthrop, expressed that they didn't really disagree with him. Though not to that extreme they thought it best that they take measures to limit contact with such a volatile creature. Anya had the brilliant idea of telling them that it may be they don't have a choice in the matter.

The room gradually dissolved into disorder the watchers talking amongst themselves while arguing with Giles, the Scoobies fighting with Xander. All Willow could do was sit and try to keep herself contained.

Of course that was the moment the potentials decided to enquire what the noise was all about. They didn't know exactly what was going on, but from the commotion they could see that they were arguing about someone named Spike. Winthrop then decided to inform the Girls of thee colorful history of William the bloody.

If there was a head explody list the stuffy watcher would be second.

He made sure to highlight the especially interesting parts involving slayers, including some of the history when Spike made his grand entrance to Sunnydale. Course they didn't know anything about the good that he had done, or at least omitted it. The Scoobies and, even Giles, tried explaining to them that he had changed and the two were not the same. That was immediately silenced by Dawn's quiet voice.

"Yes they are."

"Dawnie..."

"No! you guys don't get it do you. He..."

When Willow saw Dawn's she was torn between a hundred different thoughts and emotions. She had never really thought about how the youngest member of the scoobies would react to this. How she would react to Spike being back.

The two had been close friends, the witch even might say best friends. But all of that was lost when...

When Willow sent him to hell.

Giles stepped in hoping to try and head this off.

Willow knew the watcher cared nothing for the vampire, but saw him as a powerful ally. If they were to lose his support, the incredible buffer he provided by slaying dozens if not hundreds of demons every night might be lost, and the mission with him. She also knew that this was hurting the girl he thought of as a daughter.

"Dawn please. I understand that you went through a great ordeal. But whether or not I or anyone else is pleased with it, he did change. If not for the better. And if anything he cared for you."

They could all see her face struggling to stay in control. Willow figured that Dawn wanted to believe the bleach blonde didn't care anything for her, made it easier to forget him and not have to deal. And for awhile there was silence between everyone while they heard the truth in those words.

"Um guys, not to break the uncomfortable silence, But I was wondering, didn't Spike die?"

Alice's question was valid, unfortunately Xander decided to mutter his answer.

"Probably been here all along."

Willow could almost feel her eyes starting to darken at the words, and was about to bite back a reply. She loved him, she did. He's one of her best friends. And Willow understood that he wanted to protect them all, but something else was going on. There was some other unknown reason he hated this particular vampire. Anya's voice broke her train of thought.

"Actually he's probably been in Balthrass the whole time."

Willow sunk in her seat and could see out of the corner of her eye Giles face pale and the others Watchers eyes widen. Apparently they had heard about the dimension. She could hear the wheels turning.

"That means he's been..."

The witch could see the tears fall from Dawns eyes as the girl realized her friend had been through something incomprehensible to any of their human minds.

"Six hundred million years by my guess, give or take a year."

Someone in the group might have spoken up if Anya's voice hadn't held a certain amount of sorrow. Even the unrepentant vengeance demon could feel sympathy for someone she cared about who got the short end of the stick in life.

"Wait, you knew didn't you. And you didn't say anything?"

Xanders accusation was clear and it made the anger in Anya's face come to full light. But to her credit she kept her mind.

"In any event I think perhaps we should let Buffy make this decision when she returns. She has that right in this matter more than all of us."

"Yeah! Let's trust her judgment..."

"Xander don't start."

"No I think I will start. I mean come on, who has to get hurt next before she puts down her undead boyfriend. That vampire did things I can't even think about without turning a shade of green and no one does anything because it's Buffy's call! I can't believe what I'm hearing. I mean sure we need the guy, but come on! This is Spike we're talking about. I can't believe it's happening again. He comes around does one good thing and you all go blind. I'm sorry but I'm not just going to stand around while Buffy lets him hurt someone else! Buffy didn't dust him no matter how many reasons he gave her. She let that thing in her house and..."

"Xander shut up!"

Dawns tear filled yell couldn't silence him.

"It almost raped her!"

At that moment everything stopped. There was no sound and even the wind outside was silent. Willows anger towards Xander came to a screeching halt, as did any sympathy for the vampire she sent to hell. Everything was so still that the movement of one of the potentials head caught everyone's attention and it was that moment they all noticed Buffy standing there.

----

Hey people,

I'm back for a little while and have found time to write a chapter.

I felt the last chapter I did jumped to far ahead too fast so I removed it and replaced it with this. I'm going to do another one after that I give no promises.

It's been a long long time, and I've been drunk and sleeping for most of it. So I would suggest before you guys do anything else, reread the rest of the story if you haven't recently.

Oh and REVIEW! Or I'll go back into hibernation. It's blackmail I know but I give a sht.


	16. Happiness and frustration

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

----

You could almost hear the air move in the room, it was so silent.

" I know why."

Buffy could see their shocked faces as the heavy silence was broken by such a casual calm tone. They all thought she would lose her cool.

think again

"I mean I get it. I get why you hate Spike. I understand why you don't want to give him the chance. I know why you don't trust him."

While she was talking she had moved from the dining room entrance to the other side of the table across from Xander. Each word was said in a seriousness that the slayer rarely used. From the looks on everyone's face she could tell all ears were trained on her, and everyone was waiting to speak when they knew she would allow them to.

" But why don't you trust me?"

By everyone's confused expressions it looked as if they hadn't been expecting that. Even Xander, who's face had slowy gone from a shocked expression to one preparing to defend an argument, seemed caught off guard.

After all his talk

Before Xander got a chance to retort after collecting himself Giles cut in.

"Buffy perhaps we should talk about this in private..."

Apparently the shock of the whole Spike-being-back-oh-did-I-forget-to-mention-he-tried-to-rape-buffy debacle had worn off and her watcher finally figured this might bet a conversation not to be had in front of strangers.

too late

She turned her face to him and he stopped before he could say anything else. He was speaking out of turn. The slayer was speaking and none of them were to speak out of turn.

"I'm not so sure, I think it would do us all good to get this out. Set the record straight for everyone. Because then one of my closest friends doesn't trust me, I think it's something we need to hear. I mean you all are coming to me, making it my job to squash this. Your lives depend on me, on what I do to protect you. You are all trusting my judgment and leadership to keep all of you safe from a very painful death."

Buffy while speaking had been facing each one of them, staring into their eyes. Making sure she had them, quiet and listening. Some of them were reacting differently to this and she could see it in their faces. Their thoughts almost blaring through their expressions. Jarod held his face in place but the respect he had shown her was all the more bright. That same respect was going through the other watchers face including Giles. Well a little less so with Winthrop but still the same. Each potential carried with their gaze a certain sense of awe, some less than others, did Kennedy want her job that much? But most of all there was trepidation.

Everyone knew that she was on the edge, and if anyone were to push her, she might snap, and not one of them there wanted to deal with a pissed off slayer. Though the look that Faith gave her said more than words, she was giving her space out of respect, but the rogue slayer was willing to defend them all if need be. Buffy couldn't tell but she thought for a second she saw a flicker understanding in Faith's face. The slayers gaze finally fell on Xander and pushed on.

" So when one of my best friends, someone whose known me longer than anyone, who I trust, starts telling you that I can't do the job right, that you can't trust my judgement, then they need to know why. So, why? Is it because I won't kill Spike?"

The last line brought out Xanders anger, and with it a blind eye to the dangerous ground he was walking.

"Kill. KILL! You're talking like he's a person, like he's a human being. He's a vampire Buffy. He killed people. Men, women, children, by the thousands and it didn't matter to him that they had family or friends. That demon nearly killed me, my friends, all for the fun of it, hell I watched while he killed your sister. Spike has hurt people I love and used them to hurt me, and you still won't stake his ass. You know all this Buffy! So ask me again, ask me why!"

Buffy stood still. Taking it all in and deep down she understood where he was coming from. And in that moment the slayer felt heart warm, then be torn by frustration. The man in front of her, though sometimes hurtful, was always looking out for them, it made her feel a pride at the fact he was her friend. At the same time it frustrated her to no end when she realized she couldn't say anything to get through to him. Nothing she could say could really tell him what she had seen in the vampire, what he had become. Buffy had a feeling that after the speech he just gave she would be alone in this.

Someone up there was looking out for her cause her friend's strong voice came through.

"He saved your life. During the summer Buffy was gone."

Xander whipped his head round and stared at the Vengeance demon. The words looked like they were caught in the gears, cause he obviously wasn't understanding them. Buffy almost smiled, maybe she couldn't make him see, but maybe they could.

"But that shouldn't matter does it, saving one life doesn't mean much when you've got thousands that you killed behind you. What about me Xander, would you kill me."

Xander himself had the decency to look down at Anya's statement. The Potentials and Watchers wore confused expressions while the Scoobies held something more grim. All of them had thought about it at one point or another, ever since she became a demon again, they had to think about whether or not they would have to kill her if she ever came after them. Buffy saw her chance.

"Not so simple anymore is it."

The young man in front of her didn't look so young anymore stared straight into her eyes. His now filling with tears as he understood that things weren't as cut and dry as he tried to think. That the things that seem so simple, are usually the most complicated. When his eyes returned to the table in front of him Buffy knew he gave in, at that moment she mentally sighed in relief and turned to the rest of the group.

Time to cap it all off

"I don't make excuses for what Spike's done or what he is. I don't expect any of you to actually trust him. I'm asking you to trust me, or if your not willing, I'm asking you to leave. I can't lead you if you're not willing, and I'm not going to waste time trying to convince you. We're at war, our lives hang by a thread and I can't be looking over my shoulder to see if someone's going to cut my legs out from under me."

Taking one more good long look she finished.

"It's late, lets all get some sleep."

Everyone in the room except the scoobies started filing out to their respective sleeping bags. While they left the slayer never took her eyes off Xander, who still stared at the table.

Buffy never felt this defeated before. Considering all the things in her life, all the beatings, the fighting, every betrayal she's felt, very few measured up to right now. Cause she was starting to understand what he meant, what he said about not trusting them. They all talked about his betrayal, when they had cut the legs out from under him more than once. They all saw that he tried to be better, none of them could deny that, but they went on treating him like an animal.

It's not like he didn't give them a reasons not to trust him.

This wasn't even about that anymore. This wasn't keeping scores, if it was then they would have kept him at arms length instead of letting him in only to throw him out. This was something else, those reasons, though good enough, were something they were hiding behind. All of them had somehow started using those reasons as excuses to use him. The group has a right to be cautious around him, and even prepare, if not expect him to double cross them, but that didn't allow for them to treat him like an animal, then get angry when he acted like one.

"I think it best if we limit our contact with Spike.."

"Slice-n-Dice. He's not Spike anymore."

The words felt true, but at the same time tasted bitter in her mouth. The Spike she knew was there, only changed irreversibly.

Buffy almost missed the tear fall down Dawns cheek.

"Whatever the case may be, I think it best if we limit our contact on a need basis."

There was a pause in his voice.

"Buffy...what he said...what Spike tried...is it true?"

The slayer steeled herself, trying to figure out what to say, how to answer such a question from someone who deserved an honest answer. Finally her quiet words broke one of the many awkward silences of the day.

"It's between me and him, no one else."

Xander who hadn't looked up that whole evening finally met her gaze. In her peripheral Buffy could see her watch nod and the rest of the group leave the room. When they were alone, the noises of the house slowly settling, they continued to stare at each other. Finally Xander left, hesitating at the door to leave a small I'm sorry before finding a place on the couch.

Standing alone Buffy let her tears fall.

----

AN: Hey everybody, I'm done with this chapter and I hope you like it.

The next chapter, for those of you who read before I added "Secrets that should have stayed secrets" will notice that this is the chapter I replaced. Explanation:I felt that chapter could have used a bit more behind it so I added a couple chapters.

Anywho I always advocate rereading the entire story so that you have a good feel for where the chapters are coming from. and as always...

REVIEW! I COMMAND IT AS LORD OF THE OOMPA-LOOMPAS!!!!!!


	17. Meaningless

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

----

Willow could barely feel the sweat crawling down the valley in-between her shoulders. She had to concentrate, to keep control, because if she got distracted, the energy humming through her would be lost, and too time consuming to recover. At the moment, the group needed all power she could give them.

Lightning shot down from the night sky and sizzled two bringers running towards them.

In response her muscles tensed and more sweat poured down her body.

Frying evil minions was hard work.

Especially for a long period of time, she felt like this had been going on for hours. Things were going wrong left and right, yet they still were holding the line pretty well. The attack itself came upon them suddenly and disoriented them, but the group had responded in time.

That had been twenty minutes ago and they were still fighting. Luckily no one on their side had died yet.

Willow blinked

Almost no one.

The force of another lightning bolt slammed a bringer through an already crumbling tombstone.

The battle was in one of the oldest cemeteries in town, which was saying something considering how many there were in Sunnydale. It was amazing that with the number of people who died around here every night you'd think someone would get suspicious.

Searching for her next target Willow's eyes darted to a demon making its way through the battle towards Dawn, who was currently fending off a vampire. Before he could strike, an axe that had been lying on the ground harmlessly inert, suddenly came to life and cleanly lifted the demons head from his shoulders.

She had to stay focused, her control was waning. The old voice was getting harder and harder to ignore with the more power she used. For the last few weeks Willow had been keeping a thread of self control, and now today it was starting to stretch even more so.

Two more bringers met a death by lightning.

No one was winning, though it didn't seem like it. The enemy, bringer, vampire and demon, was falling like waves against a rock. With having two slayers, five trained watchers, one witch, the scoobies and assorted potentials, they were kicking some major butt. The only problem was there were just so many of them, when one was cut down there was two to take it's place. The pressure was slowly building and they couldn't keep this pace, if it continued they would be overwhelmed soon. Because of this the group was kept a safe distance from achieving there goal.

The goal being eliminating the three black robed figures in front of them, on their knees, surrounding a patch of dead earth. It didn't look all that threatening when you thought about it, well except for the fact they were in a cemetery, at night, and their eyes are glowing deep red.

The six foot circle of hardened dirt, surrounded by green grass and trees, where nothing had grown for years, and would never grow again, was were a slayer killed a demon. A very old, a very strong demon. So strong that the slayer died shortly afterwards from her wounds. To add even more weight to the matter, she was the fourth slayer to die at the hands of said demon.

They had gotten word from Spike...

They had gotten word that the trinity were going to summon it to give them an edge in the stalemate the followers found themselves in. In true style the scoobies and assorted fighters had formed up and set out to stop the three demons as fast as they could. The goal was to stop them so they couldn't complete the summoning. If all had gone as planned they would have been able to take the trinity out and not have to worry as much. But things didn't always go as planned. They had marched out, all of them, and the walk there had been done in complete silence. Mainly because of the two who were walking in front. A demon and a slayer.

After what had happened a few weeks ago, things had been tense. Willow had been the one asked to go tell Spike…Slice-n-dice the new terms of their interaction. He only looked at her as she spoke, at least she though he did, can't really tell when you have a mystical hood blackening out your face. She could almost see his reaction, not only to what the witch was saying, but also to how she was acting. Willow wouldn't say anything to anyone but with everything going on around her she found herself with a bit more anger directed towards him because of what she had learned. And apparently she wasn't very good at hiding it. When she was done he merely turned and disappeared, his quiet words hanging in the air.

"Hate it when I'm right."

It always hit Willow how much had changed in the last month. She wasn't really talking about the new additions, though there had been a few, two new watchers complete with two new slayers in training. But that was nothing compared to the change when the group learned the truth. She and Anya seemed to be ostracized from everyone in one way or another except for Buffy. The group, on whole, were more obedient when taking orders, but no more friendly. Faith took the news rather indifferently, everything considered. The rogue slayer was least affected probably because, well, she was already outside the group.

The few meetings with Slice-n-dice were almost exhausting. The potentials were curious though frightened, the watchers were indifferent, Giles glared anytime he was present, and Xander refused to be in the same room. Dawn had surprisingly been the quietest about the whole thing. Not giving opinion or declaration of her feelings on the matter. The only ones that would even talk to him was the vengeance demon, a rehab witch, a rogue slayer and Buffy. Willow almost thought seeing him, was hardest for her friend. The witch would sometimes see Buffy put a glance his way that was filled with so many sad things her heart ached. From what she saw, Slice-n-dice wasn't doing so well either, leaving immediately once he was sure no one needed him, making sure he didn't give anyone a chance to speak to him, especially Buffy, and from what little he gave away, he seemed sadly resigned, like they had verified something to him.

She flinched when she remembered what had happened.

"WILLOW!"

The sound of Dawn's voice quickly snapped her back to the present. She could feel that her hold on the magic had started to flicker out, and with renewed intensity she concentrated on sending another bolt into the crowd of rushing followers.

As the Witch focused bringing death from above, the battle around them raged. The group had formed themselves in waves, the slayers leading the way, the more experienced behind them, and the potentials forming a circle around the witch.

Xander, Anya and Dawn were nearby to help keep them from panicking and helping out while the watchers were taking care of what the slayers didn't have time to dispatch.

Both of which were back to back in the middle of the horde fighting non stop.

Moonlight glinting off the various swords and axes cutting through the air, Willow noticed that the two slayers were slowly making there way to the target, whose chanting had gotten louder as the resurrection spell progressed. Making a snap decision she summoned her reserves and sent out a surge of power. Almost a mirror of what had happened what seems like a century ago, the enemy crowd parted in front of the occupied slayers.

The redhead's heart leapt when she saw Faith take advantage and make a dash for the Trinity, Buffy close behind covering her back.

A thousand different hopes went through Willows mind in a second.

She hoped the trinity were too busy and involved in there spell to stop the slayers, she hoped the followers were in too much disarray to stumble back in their path, she hoped the two would be able fight the three powerful beings, she hoped his death would mean something. Willow's eyes focused on the two slayers running through the pathway carved out by the crowd of black robed bodies. The sword Faith carried glinted in the moonlight.

And in the second the slayer raised the weapon to strike one of the kneeling figures, time seemed to slow to a crawl.

If one of the three died, then any the advantage the followers had would be lost if not reduced significantly. Then they would have a chance. They would have a chance at winning now that...

Now that Spike was dead.

All this rested on the blade that was arching through the air.

The same blade that exploded before it could make contact with the kneeling trinity member.

The shards shot out skewering a few bringers and impaling Faith in the shoulder, bringing her to the ground. Willow felt the world crumbled into her heart and sink it into her gut.

She watched the red energy trail outline a bubble guarding the trinity.

In the moment the witch saw the light in everyone who wasn't fighting for their lives dim. And in that moment the fight changed from determination, to desperation.

The corridor the redhead opened had closed and she blankly saw Buffy fight her way to Faith. The injured slayer now with no weapon fought with nothing but her skills.

With the formation broken and their whole plan crumbling around them, Willow could see more and more of the followers get through the line and encounter less resistance, in effect pushing the outer line closer to the potentials. She saw one of the new slayers in training fall dead from a slice to the neck. The flow of magic that she had been calling on from outside her had dissipated as moments passed.

She saw Jarod take a knife to the leg only to be saved by Giles.

Taking all this in Willow couldn't help think it was doomed from the beginning.

This whole plan.

This whole attack was fated to fail from the start.

He had seen it coming. She didn't know how, maybe the on rush of wind might have warned him. They had been walking toward the area when he summoned some kind of magic and parted the crowd behind him, pushing them out of his path as the swirl of dark magic fire tossed him backward twenty yards and into a mausoleum which promptly, after receiving structural damage from the hit, collapsed loudly.

They didn't have time to check on him before the followers attacked.

And now they were fighting just to get out alive. She had to do something. She had to make his death mean something. All that pain, all the strength and death, everything he had gone through because of them, because of her, couldn't all be put out with one act, made meaningless in one second. She had to make it mean something.

The thread snapped and something deep inside Willow unlocked. Something that had been put down there long ago, something dark and dangerous that her anger now unleashed.

The red head could feel her eyes blacken.

Calling on that dark place inside her, where a rage lived, she summoned the dark magic within her. Her thoughts turned simple and terrifyingly sadistic. Her vision tunneling, ignoring everything around her.

trinity is in a bubble, I crush bubble, I crush trinity

Determined the witch walked out from behind the circle of panicked potentials, lightning no longer coming from the sky, flew from her fingertips, killing followers in her way.

They had come here, killed people she new, wanted to kill them all, who gave them the right, what right did they have.

She could feel the blackness seep into her hair.

With a curt, forceful gesture she divided the crowd once more, sending followers into various hard objects around her, leaving a clear view of the three, now standing raising their hands to the sky. Willows face turned into a snarl as she sent out a stream of dark magic into the bubble, trying to force it to crush those inside.

Immediately the witch could feel the feedback, but pressed even harder. Willow could almost see the group still fighting on, with more ease now that the pressure had lessoned some, and were backing away. Willow could almost see every Bringer or demon that ran at her immediately get fried by the energy around her.

The feedback was building, becoming more and more painful, and in some small rational part of her mind she realized that soon it the feedback would explode, putting them all in danger.

But at the moment…

she just didn't care.

----

AN: Well those of you who actually read my story before might recognize some of this. I'm working on the next chapter and have most of it written out, just a few more base decisions to take care of.

I also have a good idea about what's going to happen for the next two after that so hopefully I'll get those out to you guys.

But before any of that can happen you people need to review cause I've got nothing. And being the commander of Oompa Loompas has to mean something.

SO REVIEW DAMNIT.

Or I'll have my minions steal your left shoe.


	18. Fisticuffs

Title: Demons from the past Rating:PG-13 

Disclaimer: Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

----

Her broadsword cut the bringers head off.

In her search for another target Buffy caught sight of Willow. She froze for a second. The slayer had seen that face before in her dreams, or more to the fact, her nightmares. Fortunately she noticed Willow seemed focused on one thing, and it wasn't killing everyone in sight. When her tunnel vision ended she rethought that last statement.

This didn't look good.

Willow was standing ten feet away from that shield bubble thingy and was sending a stream of pure magic at it. It didn't look like it was making a dent inthe bubble, instead it was making the red brighter and more violent. Like what you see in those space pictures of the sun. Almost like at any moment it was going to...

Buffy flew back eight feet from the shockwave, right into a tombstone, breaking it in half, and cracking a rib.

God she hated that.

This day was really pissing her of. Running on fumes, a mix of anger, adrenaline and desperation, and she knew that when they got home, everything that she wasn't dealing with right now would crash down on her. Right now the slayer had to focus and keep them back, make sure that those who were left got home, so they could survive the night. Only then would she let it all in. When they got home, Buffy could cry for spike.

Shaking her head Buffy pushed herself up, the cracked rib immediately made itself known and forced a grimace onto her face. Looking around she noticed that anyone within four yards of the target were on the ground. Luckily most of the group had been out of range and were taking care of the downed followers. Faith was getting up, looking worse for wear, but the rogue slayers eyes caught something that made her visibly tense.

Looking around for danger her eyes caught two forms, one she recognized as Willows limp form, fortunately the soft rise and fall of her chest said her friend was alive but unconscious. But that wasn't what made the slayer tense, it was the other form approaching her friend.

Buffy had never seen something like that before. It was bald, pale beyond reckoning, the bones in it's face put to an extreme, its fangs showing from its broken lips, dressed in what looked like scraps of leather. It looked like a some kind of vampire but...uber creepy. Worse than even the Master. Considering where it was walking from it looked this was the demon they were trying to stop from being resurrected.

So much for that idea.

Now it was heading to an unconscious witch with a malicious intent in it's eyes. She could hear Faith start running towards the fallen as she stumbled getting up and joined in the sprint to save there friends life.

"Giles get everyone out of here!"

Her voice was hoarse from yelling orders all night during the battle. The less people she had to worry about right now the better, and from the sounds of the footsteps behind her they had listened. Faith was in no shape to fight, but she could carry the unconscious witch away while the slayer distracted vampy, giving them time to get away.

if I don't make it back, Faith is the next best person to lead them.

She ran as fast as she had ever run in her life, with Faith only two steps behind her. But Buffy felt desperation hit when the realization did.

They weren't going to make it.

This only fueled to push harder, her muscles started to ache for the first time in what seems like years.

Buffy was anything but naïve about these things, uber-vamp only stood two steps away while she was a good eight, but she had to try. Not giving up for a moment even as the monster raised a clawed hand to strike.

In that moment time slowed for Buffy and became aware of all the things around her, the sound of the wind in the trees, the bite of the cold air against her face, the moon that lit up the place almost clear as day, the snarling noise the creature made as it breathed, the soft noises Willow made as she slept, the sound of Faith's feet hitting the ground as she ran, the burning in her legs and arms from strain, the tears on her cheeks.

One thing she hadn't noticed till now was a steadily increasing vibration, a rumble that slowly started sounding like a roar of some unknown beast, at this point it shook her bones and deafened her ears. Uber-vamp noticed as well and paused before it's arm could descend.

A mistake.

The whole thing happened so fast that it almost looked like the vamp disappeared, but for a split second the slayer saw another body come almost out of nowhere and slam into the pale-faced demon, driving them both into the air. And in that moment a fleeting thought entered her mind, which brought with it some relief.

He's alive.

She stumbled from stopping so quickly and could almost see Faith struggling to stop along with her. On instinct Buffy kneeled beside the fallen witch and checked her out while Faith took a defensive position.

From what she could see Willow was just knocked out.

Behind her Buffy heard the distinct sounds of fighting mixed with different ear shattering roars. Taking a quick glance she could see the two demons were a good thirty feet away and duking it out like there was no tomorrow. Uber-vamp didn't look like it was doing to well, only getting it's, what looked like very powerful, hits every once in awhile. While the other demon... just got thrown into a tree and didn't look like he was getting up anytime soon.

Getting shoved into the present she picked Willow up carefully, trying to prevent any further damage

"Faith, get her back to the house."

Not leaving much of a choice Buffy nearly shoved the unconscious witch into the Faith's arms.

"You can't take that thing by yoursef B."

Buffy could hear the true concern in Faith's voice, and it made her happy to hear it from a person who at one point wanted to see her dead. But that didn't change anything, and immediately turned to start towards the fight ahead of her.

"Faith get Willow out of here now! Your hurt and this isn't up for discussion."

Silently she prayed Faith wouldn't decide to be stubborn and get Willow to safety. All this running through her mind slowly faded as she centered herself for the fight. She did this to some degree whenever expecting a fight. From the looks of the way ugly fought she would need everything she had to get out of this alive, and maybe have time to save a dumbass vampire who cant decide if he's going to be alive or dead.

The Uber-vamp turned to her and smiled (as far as she could tell) Forcing everything into the background. Let the fisticuffs begin.

----

AN: Another chapter and NO FRIGGIN REVIEWS!!!!!

Well then alright, guess I have no audience, very well. That just means I get to kill everyone or just write really bad story.

I think next Angel should come back, make out with Buffy tell her she's ugly and a whore and then both go galavanting off into the sunset full of puppy love in there hearts of coal and their Brains of feathers. Spike should marry Giles and they have a bunch of kids that later screw Dawn to death. YEAH HOW BOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that, haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep today, but seriously guys review, I need to know if people enjoy the work, and if you don't enjoy it, I want to know why.

God I need to get drunk


	19. Forgiveness is not enough

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

The Darkness surrounds

Like suffocating in tar

slow to move and completely blind

It's a place she been before, only different, back then the ink seeped in, filling and rolling through her veins. Now it only flowed around, pressing in, to the point where she couldn't breath. The voice was calling to her, like a lover from long before, it's voice dark and seductive. Asking to be let in, but she knew what layed behind it, what it would do if it gained control. So for a moment the struggle to keep from answering consumed her.

But there was something else, something in the distance of the void that drew her attention. Things outside but intimately connected the the oil flowing around her. Remembering her meditation technique, the distance began to shorten. As Willow drew closer voices began to fade in.

-You do realize what you're going to have to do, all those young girls...-

The witch shuddered, she recognized the tint, the same one she possessed once before. When she swam through the dark magics, she saw the evil in a southern drawl..

-As far as I'm concerned, if they're helping him, they're no better.-

The pain in the other was hard to find, but ran deep into it's presence. But it stopped suddenly, like something was blocking anyone from going any further. Magic of a different kind.

-A wonderful sense of righteousness, a quality to admire, with a position such as yours.-

Willow stared sightlessly, feeling like she needed a shower just from listening to the conversation.

-Yeah well, someone's got to know where the line is. You cross it, and there's no going back.-

The sentence pierced through the blackness, making the memories come flooding back, everything that had been done, everything she had done.

-Truer words have never been said.-

The act of ripping out of there, almost painful, came when Willow's eyes flew open. Stomach muscles contracting, she flew up, eyes shooting all around her, finding light and shape. Slowly coming to the realization that she was in a room

"That Must have been one helluva dream to wake up like that Wills."

Her eyes focused on the figure sitting in the corner. Automatically recognizing the dark-haired slayer, even more so the sword lying on her lap. Faith noticed the direction of the redheads' stare, and for about two seconds looked like she was considering what to do. In the end Faith just smiled.

"Nothing to get excited over. Had it just in case you were still in your black haired bad ass episode and decided to start batting for the other side."

Willow shrinks in shame as the blood rushes to her face. She had lost it. Just let everything push her until she had snapped and fallen into an old habit. How would they all look at her now? He had said they would trust her cause she wouldn't lose control. But now...

A pain tinted grunt pulled her back from slipping into the debilitating guilt. Looking up she saw Faith hadn't left the room, sitting in the same place, trying to get comfortable. Willow noticed the slayer was favoring her shoulder trying to get it so the weight was taken off, probably trying to giving it a chance to heal properly.

When Faith finally found a position that didn't make the pain lance up her spine her eyes caught Willow looking at her. Almost immediately causing the witch to turn her eyes downward. Calling up whatever courage she had, Willow forced herself to speak, albeit quietly.

"Was anyone hurt?"

Faith, to her credit, didn't even hesitate or consider it.

"Mostly just nicks and cuts, lost one of the potentials, Sarah I think. Her watcher's doing the stone face thing, but it's obvious that he's hurtin. Jarod's at the hospital getting his leg checked out. Kinda wish I was there you know, see him in one of those hospital gowns with the opening in the back, maybe finally get to see that fine..."

"You know what I meant."

The slayer's face soured a bit, her line of thought about the watcher's physique broken. looking at the red head for a moment, tempted to come back with the automatic stinging words, but in that moment the anger went out of her, and suddenly felt like she was the last person to deal out recriminations. Even if said witch was the cause of her current headache.

"Nothing too bad, anyone close to the action got knocked on their asses, other than a few headaches no one's dead. Could have been worse if you ask me"

"Almost no one."

Her whisper put the silence between them. Willow looked down, remembering why she had gone off the deep end. She could start to feel the clenching of her chest as she realized, even after all that, his death still hurt as much as it did before. It was starting to get progressively worse when Faith's voice dragged her out into the room.

"You mean tall-dark and demony, might be banged up, but definitely still kickin, at least thats what I think I saw."

Willows eyes were immediately on the slayer. Wordlessly imploring her, almost begging to go on.

"Way I figure S-n-D managed to save your hide when you were out. Didn't really get to see much of him. Buffy shoved you in my arms and told me to get out of there. Last I saw he was going toe to toe with the thing we were trying to stop from coming back. "

Of all the things Faith had said, only a few things had penetrated the noise whirling around in her head. Spike was alive, and even after she had lost control; she had failed to stop them from bringing the demon back.

"So that's why. Wow, I'd never figure you to go all ape shit over a demon biting the dust. I mean he was hot the last I heard but..."

Willow merely smiled at the brunette. She didn't quite understand it herself. Spike and her had much history it was almost terrifying. All of her friends knew her, and everyone had an idea about how bad she could be. But he was the only one who knew exactly how deep the dark ran. She had found strength from the fact he still was willing to forgive her. It gave her enough drive to keep going, even after things turned out so bad.

Now that was fractured, she had jumped off the edge. Luckily she hadn't fallen as far as could have before climbing back up. Now she was sitting there in a room with a person who had tried to kill her and all her friends. It's strange the people you relate to the most.

"You know who Spike was?"

Faith shifted slightly at the question.

"I think I saw him once."

"You didn't know him like I do, I don't think anyone really does; he was really frightening and sweet at the same time. He was annoying and, and didn't like us at first. He was strong, confidant, but like a lovesick puppy. He was a jerk but could, you know, have some kind of...integrity. All of this was him. And I took that away."

"I heard, sent a him to hell, but wills, he's a vamp, or at least was anyway. He was going there anyway. Angels the one with the bead on the whole redemption thing."

"But you don't get it, do you?"

She could tell her words had gotten the slayers attention. This is something the witch had to say, so that at least one person could understand completely.

"Faith, I killed him, over and over again, for an eternity. None of it was quick, every second of every day was pain. And it's not like hurting someone then just feeling guilty about it. I've seen it. I've felt it. I have it in my head and I know every single thing that was done to him there. "

Willow could see Faith was struggling with her own emotions. This was treading on a sore spot with the slayer. Bringing up all the things she herself had done, making her think about the guilt she had to deal with every day. But Willow couldn't stop, not even if she wanted to. It was all coming out and leaving the witch pleasantly hollow for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"An eternity of pain is my fault. And sometimes I feel like I'm drowning cause it's all just too much. And everyday the only thing that keeps me from just letting myself sink back into it is that he forgave me. After all that, I just failed again and..."

She couldn't go on. Couldn't describe anything else. Not without breaking down and falling into the dark despair the witch had to fight every day.

Faith just sat there, barely keeping her face the emotionless mask she normally wore. She watched as the redhead slowly pulled herself together.

For a moment the slayer saw a strength that made her look like a child. Almost like she didn't have a right to be depressed about her life. This girl, not even twenty-five had more put on her than anything she had seen, maybe even more than her and B.

Doing something she hadn't tried in so long, it almost seemed alien to her, she tried to recalled everything that made her life the way it was, all the things that made it good. What made it worth fighting for.

Very quietly, very firmly, she asked.

"What about Tara?"

The redheads eyes clinched at that, the memory as painful as anything she experienced.

"I'm the last person who should talk about love, wam bam. That's how I've always done it, probably how I'll always will."

Willow was looking at her now, almost afraid of the road this was going down. Never dared tread there cause of what might lay at the end.

"She loved you, I mean its obvious from the way people talk about you two, love like no other from what I hear. Looking down at us right now if I had to guess. She's probably saying "what the hell are you doin, get up, help your friends". Love, now that's something big. Don't get me wrong, forgiveness, great motivator, but coming from experience you have to have something more. Something not steeped in the guilt. she loved you and If nothing else you ought to do right by that. Even if it you think you don't deserve it, it's still a helluva lot more than what you got right now."

Willow had curled up a bit on the bed she was sitting on, listening. Staring at the blanket around her. Strange how she hadn't notice they were in what was once their bedroom for that horrible summer. Tara and hers. It brought a small smile to her face at the fact Faith was actually comforting her. But the slayer was right, striving for forgiveness will only get you so far. You had to have more. When Faith was done they sat there quietly, letting the words sink in. Finally looking back at the brunette, she whispered her thanks. The silence was interrupted by a shout that sounded like Giles was going to have kittens.

"Faith! Get Willow down here right now! "

Almost immediately they were up and heading down stairs. Figuring this was probably going to be the only time she could ask this question, Willow spoke.

"What do you believe in Faith?"

Without hesitation, Faith, neither looked or paused before answering her.

"That I can do something right."

AN: I redid this chapter because I wasn't really satisfied with it, so here it is. Reviews would be helpful but not required, and so I make another stab at finishing this piece of crap


	20. Why don't you explain it

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

There are moments when time seems to slow, when a second becomes a minute, a minute becomes an hour and so on. Watching someone die, your first kiss, taking the SAT's, time stretches. Making the happy memories even more wonderful, and the unhappy ones that much more painful.

At the moment, it's both.

It sounds far fetched for something like this to happen, but she's been standing in front of the basement door for what felt like fifteen minutes, but if she looked at the clock, it might have been one.

Buffy guessed the reason it happened was because of the hundred things you think about in the moment. The sheer information overload draws time to a crawl.

Staring at the door, it felt immense, holding something so frightening that the hand reaching to open it trembled slightly.

When her skin made contact with the cold metal of the doorknob her mind flashed back to the fight that had almost cost them both their lives. It was amazing how hard the punches were, how much they hurt. Buffy had managed, using all her skill, to avoid the uber-vamp from landing a hit for about fifty seconds, but when it did land it felt like someone had hit her with a sledge-hammer.

For the moment, between the backlash and the return punch, the slayer doubted.

She wouldn't be able to take a lot of hits like that.

Then Buffy was reminded of why she and Spike fought so well together.

In the few times, and man they were few and far between, they fought side by side, they were able to form almost a constant force, while she was down he was attacking, while he was down she was attacking, when they both were fighting, she didn't have to worry about him getting in her way.

Only because of the thing that made him such a pain in the ass when they were enemies, he had studied her moves so much that he knew what she was going to do next while staying out of the way and getting his own hits in.

This, through hell dimension and death, hadn't changed...much.

When Buffy ducked out of the second punch and turned to deliver her own, she found Spike, or at that moment what she thought was spike, engaging vampy in one hell of a fight.

Buffy didn't think "fight" was the right word for what she saw. He seemed to blur and disappear only to reappear somewhere else, landing blow after blow. Never really giving a clear view of him.

Unfortunately she couldn't stand there longer than a few seconds, cause for every five hits Slice-n-Dice landed, the uber vamp would throw one that sent him flying. The slayer had rushed in, pushing herself as hard as she could, using every combination she could think of. Mainly trying to duck any throw or kick it tried to land.

She was able to break its arm before it kicked her in the ribs, cracking two and sending her into a tree. It had taken a moment to shake the light bursting from behind her eyelids, but in true form she got back up and started at it again. They had fought like they always had, one down the other keeping it busy, sometimes fighting together. Slowly but surely they had worn it down. It almost seemed like they were going to win, until it landed a solid blow to her face and split the skin on her cheek.

Apparently while she was down Slice-n-dice had gotten it into his head to grab a sword and try to keep his namesake. That would have been fine, if the uber-vamp hadn't grabbed the sword right out of his hands. It then kicked him into a tree and skewered him by throwing the sword through his chest and into the tree. Sticking him like a shishcabob.

That left only her and mister I-can't-speak-cause-my-teeth-are-too-big.

The fight was quick and brutal, and for a moment it looked like Buffy was going to be done in after it split her lip with a vicious punch.

The ugly demon looming over her had suddenly screamed as Slice-n-dice ran it through the back, the end sticking through its chest. The problem was, unfortunately, vampires, not even this one, die from metal through the heart. Vampy turned sluggishly tossing the weary demon into a tombstone.

Seeing her chance Buffy lunged forward grasping the handle sticking out of it's back, and with her last bit of strength ripped it upward, cleaving the vamps upper body in two. It didn't dust, but it wasn't going anywhere.

She was eagerly on her way to passing out when she notice Sp...Slice-n-Dice wearily picking up the sword and finishing uber-vamp off.

Buffy had woken up slowly, and nearly puked whatever she had scrounged up for dinner.

The stench of burnt flesh was all around her, nearly suffocating her. Only when the slayer had cleared her head a bit more, she realized she was being carried. One arm cradling her back and another under her knees.

From what the slayer had figured out, they were moving steadily, not walking and not running. Buffy had wondered what the wet sticky substance was soaking into her clothes.

The horrible realization had almost made the small slayer scream and struggle to get out of his arms.

He was bleeding.

A lot.

From burns.

But she hadn't said anything, just let him carry her home. Didn't look at his face, exhausted and fighting the bile in her throat from the smell around her, Buffy only stared at the fingers curling around her leg. She just watched in fascination as the charred flaking skin slowly healed right before her eyes.

Repairing then scarring over.

He must have known she was awake cause as soon as they reached the back door he set her down on her feet, making her walk in. She had turned to thank him, but he had already made a dash into the basement, black ashes floating to the ground. Her first instinct was to go after him but a combination of aches and pains slowing her down, along with one of the potentials spotting her and yelling for others put an abrupt end to the idea.

What proceeded was a blur of faces and hands. For a moment she thought she had seen Willow's face, guilt ridden, but it could have been a dream because she soon passed out, feeling a bit disoriented from the pounding in her head and the flurry of motion around her.

Of course she woke up annoyed, it was the third time in one day that she had to get up from having a knock to the head.

Buffy after looking around, realized that everyone had crashed, sleeping anywhere and everywhere. Some of them had barely had made it under there respective covers before passing out. Looking at them all, the slayer yearned for the days before death, none of them had that look yet, the weariness that she could see in all her friends. The weariness that only death brings when you see it once to many times.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed that old overwhelmed feeling she got when he was around. It almost hurt at the beginning, but she had gotten used to it and pushed it in the back of her mind. He was still there, in the house, probably hadn't left. Not surprising considering.

The fear had started when she walked into the kitchen, and grew as the slayer reached the basement door.

Now she stood there, for what seemed like hours, looking at the doorknob, willing her hand to twist it. She wanted to, she's wanted to talk to him since the fight in cemetery a month ago. With what was said and done, things needed to mend, and not that then something new had to be built, something good, something to make up for everything in the past.

Ever since those words had been spoken she had spent the time not thinking about it, making it his fault, pulling up every defense, every brush off. It worked too. For one month it worked. Every time she was able to brush it off and not think about it, her skin felt tight, uncomfortable.

Like the things that weren't being dealt with was building underneath, crowding her insides. Making her want to do something to relieve the pressure, make her forget. All this all too reminiscent of last year.

So Buffy stood, a desperate want to do something to make things right, making her hand itch for the doorknob, and the gut wrenching fear of what might happen, holding her back.

One thought makes her hand grip the doorknob.

All the reasoning for this, the making things better, making up for last year, trying to build something good.

It was all crap.

She wanted to know why. Why he doesn't want her to say the words that are just on the edge of her lips. With that in her mind she turned the doorknob, opened, and walked in.

Of course the first thing she does is bang her knee against the stair railing.

Silently cursing she looked around and didn't see much. It made her wonder cause the basement usually wasn't that dark, the moon was shining through the windows, shining on the floor, but everything around it was almost pitch black. When she reached the bottom of the stair she looked around, trying to find him, the slight smell of ash telling her he was still here. Her eyes moved until they caught a still form that she didn't recognize being there before.

"What do you want?"

The voice that had been continually creeping her out since she first met this Spike was harsh, ragged, and slightly gargled. Buffy of course reacted only to the harsh, with her own instinct.

"Oh nothing much, wondering how long it's gonna take to get the smell of charred demon out of here."

She felt the insides of her stomach shrink a size at the words, but in true form it didn't reach her face. Not even when she heard him chuckle.

"You know I almost get tired of knowing you so well. Come in here wanting answers, and you do the best you can to make sure you get none."

"That's assuming you'd give me an answer in the first place. I mean, what's with you and the cryptic mumbo jumbo. I remember you'd just say what you wanted, what you meant. But now I bet if I asked you give me a long spiel about me being unable to understand and that the future is at stake so you can't tell me."

He was silent for a moment. Then, as if labored, got up from where he was sitting in the shadows across the way. Seeing his advancement and possible fight she crossed her arms and tilted her head in the most defiant way she could. The slayer could almost see his smile at her actions.

"Did you ever figure that maybe your just not supposed to know? Or better, maybe I just don't want to tell you. What gives you the right to know about any of my reasons..."

Buffy was incredulous and immediately interrupted.

"How about three years ago I helped your sorry ass, instead of staking it like I had the right to do. How about letting you live, even after you went out of your way to prove you were dangerous. Whether intentional or not I gave you a chance to be something better. You owe me an explanation, at least an answer."

He seemed to turn a little, as if he didn't like the issue.

"And the question would be?"

She gritted her teeth at the obvious stall. But through her frustration she pulled up her courage to ask the one question that had been bothering her for the longest time.

"Why won't you let me say...it?"

She could tell he was looking at her, couldn't see it but she knew. She knew he was powerful, and unpredictable. Any movement she tried to anticipate and find a way to counter.

"Because I am Spike, but I'm not. I know you don't understand..."

Anger had been going through her all during this conversation, now it was straining to the point of making her snap.

"Your right, I don't get it. So why don't you explain it."

The words caused him to visibly stiffen. Slowly, ever so slowly he started to walk forward. The air seemed to change; it got stuffier, making it a little harder to breath. He seemed to move more deliberately, as if his very steps were being planned as they went.

Her hackles were rising, getting more and more anxious around him. Buffy knew he was remembering something. Something she did long ago.

Sometimes she hated people who remembered everything.

"Considering the last time the words "why don't you explain it" were said, I wouldn't ask me that. Unfortunately, knowing you, hints won't be enough."

Buffy's eyes widened slightly when the memory hit.

The dark alley where she just wanted to disappear and never return, if not death, then a cell where everyone could forget about her. But that damn stubborn vampire wouldn't let her, kept trying. Making her want to try for the tiniest second.

She had reacted, and reacted...badly.

She immediately uncrossed her arms and backed away as he advanced. But he stopped, he stopped when his body entered the shaft of light.

She immediately went stiff and rigid. Trying desperately to keep it together

So...

So many...

"I've had every piece destroyed when I was being tortured. Every piece of flesh, every bone, all of it melted, broken, torn out, cut, consumed and boiled off. And that was just the physical part of it. I've been literally driven out of my mind more times than I can remember. So when I was summoned back, you'll excuse me if I didn't really remember who the hell you all were, or even what I was. I didn't forget. I just didn't have the memories anymore."

He probably saw she was crumbling and moved back into the darkness. 

"So when I got here I had to search, and find memories, figure it all out. I got the complete listing in here now. But that doesn't change the fact, everything I know now, everything I remember about who I was, is second hand. None of it is me. So I'm Spike, but I'm not."

As he talked a haze slowly fell on her, something that made her focus just on keeping herself from bursting out. The combination of the state of his body, and what he was saying, made it a losing battle. From what she could see he wasn't done with this, but god she wished he was.

"I was able to keep a few with me, nothing much, whispers of memory, didn't even know what they were, but I kept them because it was all I had. Three, three memories out of a hundred an twenty years of life and death, all I had were three crumbs."

He paused a moment, probably could tell she was on the brink. Doing the only decent thing he turned and sat back down in the shadows. A sad chuckle pushing him to sit back against the floor.

"You know what was my favorite till recently. One that kept me getting back up after all that. Didn't know it then but it was just a smile, one of your smiles. Small little one, nothing much, but for some reason it felt like it had the world in it, all the joy, all the pain everything. It was only later I learned it was when Angel said he loved you."

Buffy closed her eyes at that.

"Isn't that just a kick in the balls. Memory that was my will to go one for so long turns out to be the one thing that crushed me in the beginning. You've never worn that smile again. Believe me I know. At the time I was jealous, hated you for something I hadn't seen. At the same time I envied him, knowing his past, and getting something so precious. Still do. And I hate him with a depth you will never understand. That smile was for him, and just for him. So don't go telling me you love me, cause I'm not him, and the words would seem a bit hollow."

The finality of it just clicked in her. It wasn't painful but she realized there was nothing she could say, no words for her to even start. Finding nothing in herself after that long speech Buffy simply turned, and walked away, albeit a bit unsteadily, almost as if she was deciding whether or not to run. But halfway up the stairs she paused.

Maybe she could offer this crumb of comfort. Trusting herself to speak only once before the slayer could scramble away.

"What are the others."

She didn't look at him, but she could feel the slight smile in his voice and from it a spark deep inside her.

"My mums hair and Dru's eyes."

With that Buffy quietly closed the door.

I spent the longest god damn time on this chapter. I wanted to make sure it was true to the character that Joss gives us while adapting it to the new one I'mm giving you. I hope it it's up to snuff.

But ya know what, I won't know will I. You'll all read this, you'll all either like this or not, and I won't have a god damn clue what's good and what's bad. I won't know what to continue with or what to scrap. You know why...CAUSE NONE OF YOU REVIEW!

Oh p.s. thanks to the few that did. 


	21. Deserve has nothing to do with it

Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

The battleground. Unimaginable horrors, carcasses, mangled and unrecognizable to the human eye, were strewn across every surface. The silence permeating the air was that of the aftermath of a frenzy. None were spared, not even the box of baking soda.

The kitchen was a mess to say the least . But that was to be expected with more than twenty people living under the same roof. Even though there were five hotels in Sunnydale, and four motels on the edge of town, none of them could be used during the current state of things. Of course the current state of what had once been a kitchen wasn't much better.

Setting her forearm down at one end of the island counter, Willow tiredly swept the day's trash into one of the hefty bags she had snagged on a outing to the store. Cleaning the breakfast remains of more than a dozen ravenous teenage girls was exactly what Willow to be considered the seventh circle of hell. The eigth being the bathroom.

A fairly large group of watchers and potentials had arrived three days ago, hungry and looking for a place to sleep. At any other time the Sunnydale inn would have been sufficient, but with the Followers making almost nightly strikes, this was the safest place. As people started piling in however, Willow couldn't shake the thought that they were the Texans and this was the Alamo. And everyone knew how well that turned out...well except for Chao Anh, and all the British potentials.

As Willow took the garbage bags, now three full loads, out to the trashcans, an interesting thought occurred to her. Would the situation become so bad that the citizens would no longer be able to ignore the underbelly of Sunnydale. With the attacks becoming increasingly frequent it didn't seem likely, but this place had a astonishing record for denial. The followers had become more and more bold, and time was quickly running out. They would call it desperation if any of them believed the Followers could feel such a thing.

As it stood, the situation was starting to go bad for the potentials. the strikes were hitting everywhere they went, and until today they were all done under cover of night. This morning, on the way to the wood shop, four demons and two bringers had attacked Xander and his group. Luckily Faith was nearby and was able to speed the dispatching of their foes. Willow smirked at the thought of the show it must have been for all the people at the lumberyard

The Potentials were forced to patrol out at night, because if they stayed the Bringers would be attack house. It was too dangerous to be caught in a corner with nowhere to run. They had learned the hard way when a watcher and two potentials were critically injured during an attack on the house by assorted nasties.

So following that near fatal lesson a group of assorted Scoobies and the bulk of the potentials, led by a slayer, would patrol each night to meet whatever the enemy had in store. As a result each potential had field time, and each of them had fought and killed. Rona, Kennedy and Chao Anh were the most seasoned potentials, and were consequently named unofficial squad leaders, in charge of training instruction, and with helping the Scoobies while out on patrols. With the increased training and field time, the potentials were quickly becoming the army Buffy had declared them a week and a half ago. It was amazing how much had changed in just two weeks. Hell even the school principle was helping out.

One of the many downsides to the nightly patrol was the mark left on each potential. Rona especially. Her watcher Davis had taken a bringer knife to the gut and had slowly bled to death in Rona's arms. A deep sadness tightened Willow's chest when she remembered the times she had seen the same look in her friends' faces, after Jesse had died, Miss Calender, Tara. Using training as a way to cope, Rona had become eerily single-minded in her mission to be the best soldier she could possibly be.

Death affected each potential to varying degrees over the weeks of training. Sometimes one would arrive without a watcher, shaking because she had to see her mentor die, or her new friends fight and nearly meet the same fate. But it wasn't just the potentials; the watchers hadn't escaped unscathed. Winthrope almost had a complete breakdown when Alice's neck was broken when fighting in a battle. He eventually recovered, but forever altered.

In the last two weeks Buffy's army had lost four people, and the scoobies themselves remained somber, having been put on grave detail.

On a happier note Xander and Anya had stopped trying to kill each other. They had bonded after a fashion, remembering why they had fallen for each other in the first place. Willow had even caught a few moon eyes being shot across the dinner table. Which is a change from death glances, which was the standard for awhile.

Of all of them, Buffy had changed the most outwardly, so much that the witch almost didn't recognize her high school best friend. The slayer had grown hard, and cold, refusing to let anyone in, even her friends. She would give orders, and occasionally have a short conversation with Dawn, but that was the extent. Whenever Buffy spoke, Willow could tell the icy exterior was only a shell, trying to protect what was happening inside. Almost as if diving into the role of general would make her forget the pain. The pain coming from whatever had transpired with Slice-n-dice.

Slice-n-Dice

There was one thing that had remained unchanged. After recovering from the battle, and getting similar duds to replace what little was left of what Willow had found on the basement floor. The altered vampire came every night to receive instructions, and then left, unseen until the next night. The witch heard the pain in Buffy's voice when giving his instructions. The hurt was there, buried under the expressionless face.

The most recent major change occurred with Dawn. The Scoobies had found out that there was a potential in sunnydale and preformed a spell to identify the unfound slayer-to-be. Unfortunately the spell led them to believe Dawn to be the unknown potential. The Scoobies quickly discovered their mistake, but by the look on Dawns face the damage had already been done.

Speaking of...

Willow's train of thought was interrupted when she spotted the younger Summers sitting on the couch. Reading one of the fifty odd stuffy old books that the watchers had managed to smuggle with them. Willow could tell that Dawn wasn't actually paying attention to what she was reading, Since the book was about the mating rituals of Chaos demons.

"Hey Dawnie, what ya doin?'

Dawn looked startled for a moment before focusing in on the redhead.

"Oh you know, reading up on..."

The disgusted face she made pulled a smile out of the weary witch. Snapping the book closed she dropped in on the newly repaired coffee table.

"You know this would work better if I actually knew what I was not reading."

Willow slowly walked to the couch, and let herself fall into the soft cushions beside Dawn.

"Yeah I usually do a quick check at the title. Also it helps if the book isn't upside down."

Dawn winced at the obviousness of her facade and what she considered her own lame attempt to cover it up.

"That noticeable huh?"

Willow shook her head at the younger Scoobies chagrined face.

"Not really, I think everybody's kinda preoccupied with the whole big-bad right now, besides I just happen to have experience with the whole personal turmoil thing, you might say it's my cup of tea."

"There's enough of that going around that I think we're all kinda stuck in our own heads."

"Too bad we can't go to the mall and shop off some steam. It might be good just to lighten the load up in the ol-brain cavity."

Nodding simultaneously at the words of wisdom. They lost themselves own memories of better times. Unfortunately memories of better times inevitably led to memories of not so better times, making Willow grimace slightly. Realizing who they were sitting next to, they both wished for a blessed moment from the time before, when things were good between them. Taking the initiative for the moment willow summoned up the bravery that seemed on short supply lately. Opening her mouth willow…

"So, are you sleeping with any of the girls?"

The abrupt and arbitrary nature of Dawn's question caught Willow off guard, and, for a moment, she had to actually check to see if she'd heard right.

"What? No…where did you…I mean there was…wait, what?"

Dawns face was the perfect indication that the witch had taken the phrase the wrong way. The younger woman chuckled at Willows less than coherent attempt to deny what had been so obviously been building between the redhead and Kennedy.

"Um, actually I meant that right now I'm sharing my room with three other people. Which may have been cool back when I was seven, but with the whole demon horde trying to kill us and when two of them snore, it isn't of the wonderful. I was just…wondering if you had something similar."

Willow realized how much she had given away by her stumbling denial. She gave up with a sigh and settled back down into the cushions, muttering an embarrassed apology. But Dawn didn't seemed at all phased. There was silence for a moment before the younger woman tried again.

" So you and Kennedy are…?"

The rising blush in the witch's face was a much better answer than the one she attempted to give.

"Kinda, I mean, nothing really serious, my stomach does this funny flippy thing when I'm around her. Which is great, what with the flippy stuff, but... It's hard, 'cause when I'm around her I feel things that I hadn't thought I could anymore. Like those things were dead cause... It feels like it's too soon, you know? I can still feel it, where she was, inside me, the place she used to be. And I feel like if I let someone else fill that spot, then I'd be letting her go. I'm not sure I want to do that right now."

Neither of them needed a name to know who they were talking about. In all the time since Willow had returned no one had once uttered Tara's name. The omission had become a habit with the Scoobies. Almost as if one slip would send her off the deep end. Of course that wasn't surprising considering what would happen when the red head slipped. Willow was slightly startled to see the look of kindness on Dawns face.

"I get it, and you know I would be full supporto friend right now. that would be if there wasn't an impending apocolypse on our asses right now. And before you say it, I know, language. But I figure that none of us have time to not be ready. I mean we have a bunch bad things trying to slit our throats and tomorrow may be the only time we have left to spend with each other. So there's no time to waste. Carpe Diem, which I think means seize the fish. I suck at Latin."

The redhead smiled at the words. For a moment she was amazed and wondered how she could have possibly missed getting to see the Dawnie grow into the person she was now. Willows memory flashed to the fact the adoptive sister in front of her might've not even been there because of the dark magics she had invoked. Taking the a deep breath Willow did something that had been put off for way too long.

"Dawnie. I know that I don't really deserve, you know, forgiveness. But, I want you to know I'm really sorry, for…everything. Everything I said, everything I did. And for everything I didn't do."

Dawn obviously hadn't been expecting the apology, and the comfortable nature of their conversation had vanished in an instant. The anxiety nearly throbbed audibly with the beating of the redheads heart. In the same instant, it was released when the brunette beside her lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile.

"I know, and we're good. I figure we're even since you saved me after the whole energy sucking thing in crypt."

Willow began to feel some of the old anxiety creep back at the obvious omission. There was another name that was never mentioned.

"Are you still mad at him?"

It was a meek question if there ever was one, but at the moment the redhead didn't have the courage to make her voice stronger.

"You only threatened to kill me…and I'm still a little mad at you."

Willow nodded, at the same time using her hair to hide her stricken expression.

"I died, he killed me. But he did it to save us all…and now he comes here every night to make sure none of us die. I don't know how I feel about the whole thing. I guess it doesn't really matter Anymore."

The witch felt a mild surprise at the anger rising behind her eyes, the dismissive attitude. But before she could say anything, Buffy strolled into the living room.

"No it doesn't Dawn. It doesn't matter if you forgive him, because he wouldn't care. Spike suffered for everything he's ever done, he's paid his bill, with interest. And whether or not you forgive him doesn't matter. Even if you decided to forgive him, it wouldn't change anything, because he wouldn't forgive you."

That snapped both the stunned witch and key from their shocked paralysis. Dawn sat up immediately to defend herself.

" Forgive me! I've never killed anybody! I never tried to rape anyone, or rip anyone apart! I've never sucked the life from someone while they were chained to the wall! I...I didn't leave."

Willow could tell buffy heard Dawn's voice catch when a particularly painful cord was struck. But with barely a pause the young Summer's anger was back in full force.

"I didn't do any of that he did! And now he's here. He gets to live. Why him? Why not mom, or Tara? Why does he get to live while everyone who deserves it dies!"

The knot in Willow's heart tightened a bit further at the mention of her dead lover's name. She could understand the resentment, but what Dawn had yet to realize was that there were things worse than death. The witch had recently come to realize that living was often worse that being dead. Oblivious to Willow's hurt, Dawn was shouting with the tears slipping down her face now the perfect picture of anger and pain.

"He doesn't deserve any of it! Especially being forgiven."

The quiet finish to the tirade was like a coffin softly closing. To Willow's surprise however, Buffy remained expressionless. Whispering, the witch spoke.

"When has whether or not they deserve forgiveness ever gone into whether of not they're actually forgiven?"

From the quick turn of Dawn's head, Willow knew that the young Summers had forgotten about her presence. And, to her small satisfaction, the redhead could tell her words had broken through. What did a person who flayed a person alive deserve? Someone who threatened all there friends? Who almost murdered her best friend? What did she deserve? The silence was once again cut short by Buffy's determined voice.

"We forgive because we love and care about each other. Not because we deserve it, or that we for some reason think we deserve it. We do it because we need to be who we are. Sometimes, that's hard to face. I've done things that I'm definitely not proud of, but my friends forgive me because to move on, I need it, they need it. Not because I deserve it, not because they think I do. If you really think about it, none of us deserve forgiveness."

Buffy paused, stepping closer to the brunette to emphasize her next few words.

"It doesn't matter if you forgive him, and I guess it really doesn't matter if he forgives you. But you need to make sure that you're angry for the right reasons, and that you forgive for the right reasons too."

Dawn's eyes had dropped to her lap awhile back, unable to meet her sister's level gaze. Neither the slayer or the witch could tell if the words had any affect, but before they could press on the phone rang.

To everyone's surprise, it was a message from a priest.

A/N: It's been awhile, but I've been busy so get over it. Anywho I hope you all like this chapter, I spent a good week on it. Thank you's to my friend braydie for Beta'ing this, best feedback I've had in awhile.

Speaking of feedback I encourage all who read this to review. Really don't know when the next chapter will be, but I'm working on it.


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